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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The graph shows children by age group as a percentage of the young population in the United Kingdom between 1990 and 2001. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows children by age group as a percentage of the young population in the United Kingdom between 1990 and 2001. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line chart depicts the variation of
age
Use synonyms
 group, quantified in percentage, broadly
catergorized
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categorised
 them into four
age
Use synonyms
 intervals,
whicha
Correct your spelling
which
 are 0-4, 5-9, 10-14,
15
Correct word choice
and 15
show examples
-19, over the period from 1990 to 2001.
Overall
Linking Words
, there were
substntial
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substantial
 percentage drops in
Use synonyms
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
 group of 0-4 and 15-19 from the timeframe of 1990 to 2001,
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
bracket
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 of 10-14 and 5-9 witnessed
continued
Add an article
a continued
show examples
 increase in the same timeframe. Notably, the proportion of
Use synonyms
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
 group 15-19 ,
while
Linking Words
inititally
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initially
 the highest among them, experienced a
signicificant
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significant
 decline and eventually reached the trough in 1994.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the proportion of
Use synonyms
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
bracket
Use synonyms
 of 10-14 plummeted so
drammatically
Correct your spelling
dramatically
 that by the end of the time period. The
age
Use synonyms
bracket
Use synonyms
 of 5-9 and 10-14,
15
Correct word choice
and 15
show examples
-19 had overtaken and caught up to
bracket
Use synonyms
 0-4 in terms of percentage , respectively.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, bracket with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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