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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below shows the amount of money per week spent on fast food in Britain. The graph shows the trends in the consumption of fast foods. Write a report by summaring main features and comparing when relevant.

The chart below shows the amount of money per week spent on fast food in Britain. The graph shows the trends in the consumption of fast foods. Write a report by summaring main features and comparing when relevant.
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The two graphics display data about
fast
Correct article usage
the fast
show examples
food
Use synonyms
conumption
Correct your spelling
consumption
 of British people.
While
Linking Words
 the bar chart displays the weekly expenditure  on fast
food
Use synonyms
 based on
income
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
 in 1990,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
line gŕaph depicts the general fast
food
Use synonyms
 consumption trends from 1970 to 1990.
Overall
Linking Words
, the higher the
income
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 of a
person
Use synonyms
, the more likely he or she
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 more money
Change preposition
on Hamburger
show examples
Hamburger
Fix the agreement mistake
Hamburgers
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 or Pizza in a week compared to other
groups
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
comsumption
Correct your spelling
consumption
 of these foods increased over time
while
Linking Words
 that of fish and chips decreased. In 1990, the most amount of money spent on
food
Use synonyms
 was
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
Hamburger
Fix the agreement mistake
hamburgers
show examples
 with nearly 45
Use synonyms
pences
Correct your spelling
pence
pieces
 per
person
Use synonyms
 each week in
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
high
Add a hyphen
high-income
show examples
income
Use synonyms
 group
while
Linking Words
 it was about 33 and 23
Use synonyms
pences
Correct your spelling
pence
 for average and low incomers.
This
Linking Words
  trend  was
also
Linking Words
 similar for Pizza with 26
Use synonyms
pences
Correct your spelling
pence
, 22
Use synonyms
pences
Correct your spelling
pence
 and 8
Use synonyms
pences
Correct your spelling
pence
 respectively to these three
groups
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the expenditure per
person
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 on fish and chips was quite different, with average earners spending the most weekly on
this
Linking Words
categories
Fix the agreement mistake
category
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, followed by the other two
groups
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 with approximately similar
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
show examples
. Regarding the trends over time, Hamburgers and Pizzas were increasingly consumed
throught
Correct your spelling
through
throughout
 the 2 decades. In 1970, just under 100 hamburgers were consumed by a
person
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 in 1990,
this
Linking Words
 rose
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to 500 per
person
Use synonyms
.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the initial consumption
rateof
Correct your spelling
rate of
 Pizzas, which is less than 50, was multiplied six times in 1990.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the rate at which fish and chips were consumed decreased by 100, from 300 to 200, over the given time period. In conclusion, Hamburgers and Pizzas were the most popular fast foods among different
income
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
 and their popularity
also
Linking Words
 progressed
throughtout
Correct your spelling
throughout
 20 years.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words food, income, groups, person, pences with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "display" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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