Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

#people #violence #television #computer #games #effect #society #factors #influence #behaviour

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At the current time, there

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are

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many movies, shows and electronic games that consider

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apply

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violence. From my

perspictive

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perspective

this

Linking Words

effecting

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affecting

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our

community

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community's

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behaviour in negative ways

because of

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for

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many

resones

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reasons

To begin

Linking Words

with the first cause, the

humane

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human

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brin

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brain

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alwayse

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always

influences

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influenced

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by the

enviorement

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environment

, and watching or playing

these kind

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this kind

these kinds

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of movies or games will

effect

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affect

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the mind

badely

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badly

, which will lead to

violence

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violent

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actions and thoughts, so feeding the brine with negative and harming

contanes

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contains

contents

creats

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creates

create

an unhealthy mind which lead to bad

behavious

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behaviour

behaviours

Furthermore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

kind of

entiertement

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entertainment

effect

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affects

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the quality of good

liveing

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living

standers

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standards

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as there are many people suffering

with

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their

life

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lives

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beause

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because

they are thinking in negative ways and looking to the dark side for everything they have.

Also

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, it will damage their ideas and

desione

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designs

decisions

designed

as they think about the worst

posibelity

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possibility

which will cause the

lowst

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lowest

lost

of their

opportunties

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opportunities

relationship

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relationships

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. In

conclustion

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conclusion

the

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apply

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violence

is damaging

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damages

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our

brain

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brains

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and

effects

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affects

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people in bad ways, there is no

benefaite

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benefit

benefits

and we should be more wised to

avoide

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avoid

this

Linking Words

kind of

entertiment

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entertainment

Submitted by 100 on Sat Dec 28 2024

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coherence cohesion

Organize your essay with clear paragraphing and a logical flow. It can help to use cohesive devices like linking words (e.g., "however," "additionally") to connect ideas and improve clarity.

task achievement

Provide more examples to illustrate your points. This will strengthen your arguments and show that you can relate concepts to real-world situations.

language use

Work on minimizing spelling and grammatical errors. Even though small inaccuracies won't hugely impact your score, they can affect clarity.

task achievement

Ensure that you cover all parts of the task. Include a discussion of the opposing view mentioned in the essay topic even if you disagree with it.

coherence cohesion

The essay progresses logically from introduction to conclusion, which helps in maintaining the reader's focus.

task achievement

You present a clear stance on the issue, which makes your position easy to understand.

task achievement

You address the prompt by discussing both the psychological and social implications of violence in media, showing an understanding of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
39
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

180 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pivotal
desensitize
catalyst
predisposed
harmless outlet
distinguish
controlled environments
empirical research
minimal or no direct correlation
socio-economic status
predisposition

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Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays, people move from one country to another for work. Some people think children of these families suffer because of this, while others think it is helpful for them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodworking should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family. To that extent do you agree or disagree?

You recently received a letter from your freind asking for an advice to go to a college or to find a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to your freind, In your letter include why he would not enjoy goin to college. why getting a job is good. suggest few good jobs for him

Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport. Why is this the case? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

The plans below show the layout of a university's sports center now, and how it will look after redevelopment.