IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that paper money and coins will be replaced completely by credit cards and online method of payments in the near future. Do you agree or disagree with their statement?

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Nowadays, the advance in
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
 in
Use synonyms
payments
Fix the agreement mistake
payment
show examples
 methods has
lead
Verb problem
made
show examples
 the use of cash almost obsolete, to the point that some people say that it will be
complete
Change the word
completely
show examples
replace
Wrong verb form
replaced
show examples
 in the
following
Correct word choice
coming
show examples
 years,
this
Linking Words
 essay
complete
Change the word
completely
show examples
Correct subject-verb agreement
agrees
show examples
agree
Add the preposition
agree on
agree to
agree with
show examples
this
Linking Words
 statement and in the following
paragraf
Correct your spelling
paragraph
paragraphs
 is
going
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to expleing the reasons with some examples.
Firstly
Linking Words
, money production is expensive and risky, the materials to make the actual coins and bills are
oustanding
Correct your spelling
outstanding
 and very specific to avoid
counterfeit
Replace the word
counterfeiting
show examples
 and deterioration
for
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason cash production is becoming high-priced,
for
Linking Words
example
Add the comma(s)
example,
show examples
 the new notes of Libras esterlinas in the
uk
Correct your spelling
UK
 has a animal based coat to make it water resistand. these
extras expenditure
Fix the agreement mistake
extra expenditures
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 not
necesary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 for virtual
payments
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the expantion
show examples
expantion
Correct your spelling
expansion
 of online shopping, the option to shop online at any time anywhere has
open
Wrong verb form
opened
show examples
 a vast market for Shops, with
this
Linking Words
 motivation almost every store has
this
Linking Words
 alternative
whish
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
give
Wrong verb form
given
show examples
 them high revenues, multiples studies
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 shown that for an increasing number of stores is more profitable to operate only online like
for example
Linking Words
 Debeham. In
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, the manufacture of
phsical
Correct your spelling
physical
 money is decreasing because of the cost,
risk
Correct word choice
and risk
show examples
 and it is less used as
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was show
Change the verb form
was shown
show examples
 in a
sourvey
Correct your spelling
survey
 in London where 2 out of 20 people
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 actual cash in their pockets when
ask
Wrong verb form
asked
show examples
, with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
flexibility and Variability of buying in the internet, as a
consecuence
Correct your spelling
consequence
 it is Belive that
eventully
Correct your spelling
eventually
 Virtual
payments
Use synonyms
 are going to substitute tangible
payments
Use synonyms
.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure the essay has a clear and organized structure, with each paragraph focusing on a single main idea.
Coherence & Cohesion
Include a concise conclusion that effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the position.
Task Achievement
Address all parts of the prompt, ensuring a comprehensive development of ideas and examples.
Task Achievement
The introduction clearly presents the writer's position that cash will be completely replaced by credit cards and online payments.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay provides logical reasoning supported by examples, such as the expense of producing cash and the expansion of online shopping.
Task Achievement
The argument about the expenses and risks associated with cash production is clear and relevant.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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