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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Question: The table illustrates the proportion of income spent by adults and children on four common items (food, electronic equipment, music, and videos) in the UK in 1998. Summarize the key trends shown in the table. Compare the spending patterns between adults and children, as well as between men and women, boys and girls. Highlight any significant differences in spending behavior.

Question: The table illustrates the proportion of income spent by adults and children on four common items (food, electronic equipment, music, and videos) in the UK in 1998. Summarize the key trends shown in the table. Compare the spending patterns between adults and children, as well as between men and women, boys and girls. Highlight any significant differences in spending behavior.
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The schedule demonstrates the proportion of income consumed by adults and youngsters on four common items
food
Use synonyms
, electronic equipment, music, and videos in the UK in 1998.
Overall
Linking Words
, the largest percentage was the
food
Use synonyms
 for adults, men, and women,
whereas
Linking Words
 it was the lowest for children, boys, and girls.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the
food
Use synonyms
, the first three
section
Change to a plural noun
sections
show examples
 in the table
were
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the highest percentage approximately between
quarter
Add an article
a quarter
show examples
 and 39%,
whereas
Linking Words
 the music was stable
just
Change preposition
at just
show examples
 under a six.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the proportion of music income for children, boys, and girls was the largest number almost 39%,
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
food
Add an article
the food
show examples
 was just
little
Correct article usage
a little
show examples
 under one in ten. In summary, after
analysis
Replace the word
analysing
show examples
 all the data, the numbers are not stable and they are changed in many parts,
as well as
Linking Words
, we can notice that videos were the lowest percentage for all
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of people almost from 0.5% to 15%.
Submitted by waad90waad on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words food with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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