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Band 4.5

The graphs below compare the number of cosmetic procedures performed on males and females in Korea in 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graphs below compare the number of cosmetic procedures performed on males and females in Korea in 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#graphs #procedures #males #females #korea #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar graph given illustrates the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
Korean
Use synonyms
men
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 that had plastic surgeries
such
Linking Words
 as
,
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apply
show examples
Surgery
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type
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facelt
Correct your spelling
facet
,Abdominoplasty,Rhinoplasty,Laser skin resurfacing,and
Hair
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Use synonyms
transpilantation
Correct your spelling
transplantation
 in 2004.
Overall
Linking Words
, the most
preformed
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performed
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surgery
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 among
Korean
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men
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 was
hair
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Use synonyms
transpilantation
Correct your spelling
transplantation
,
whereas
Linking Words
 the least applied cosmetic procedure was
surgery
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type
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facelt
Correct your spelling
facet
.Half of the
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korean
Change the capitalization
Korean
show examples
mens
Correct your spelling
menus
men
 had Rhinoplasty. In 2004, the most popular cosmetic procedures among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Korean
Use synonyms
men
Use synonyms
 were Rhinoplasty,laser skin resurfacing,and
hair
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Use synonyms
transpilantation
Correct your spelling
transplantation
. 60
Korean
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men
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 had
hair
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Use synonyms
transpilantation
Correct your spelling
transplantation
 and 40 went through
rhinolasty
Correct your spelling
rhinoplasty
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, just between 40 and 60 did laser skin resurfacing.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the least popular procedures were
thesurgery
Correct your spelling
the surgery
type
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faclt
Correct your spelling
fault
 and
abdominoplsty
Correct your spelling
abdominoplasty
,where under 20
Use synonyms
korean
Change the capitalization
Korean
show examples
men
Use synonyms
 went through them.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
slighlty
Correct your spelling
slightly
 more
men
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 did the abdominoplasty than the
surgery
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type
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 facelt;yet it was under 20
men
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by muneeraalnoaimi07 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words korean, men, surgery, type, hair, transpilantation with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cosmetic procedures
  • males
  • females
  • Korea
  • 2004
  • compare
  • contrast
  • most common
  • least common
  • significant trends
  • patterns
  • popularity
  • specific procedures
  • differences
  • number of procedures
  • data
  • general comparison
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