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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The chart below shows the results of a recent survey into the causes of poor school attendance in the UK. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. CAUSES OF POOR ATTENDANCE IN UK SCHOOLS Upbringing 5% Bullying 15% Peer group pressure 15% Both parents wacking 40% Lack of school disclipline 25%

The chart below shows the results of a recent survey into the causes of poor school attendance in the UK. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. CAUSES OF POOR ATTENDANCE IN UK SCHOOLS Upbringing 5% Bullying 15% Peer group pressure 15% Both parents wacking 40% Lack of school disclipline 25%
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The chart shows data about the reasons why children or teenagers do not want to attend
school
Use synonyms
 in the UK. It can be seen from the chart that one of the main issues that cause poor attendance is
parents
Use synonyms
 that both working
hard-it
Correct your spelling
hard
show examples
 is up to 40
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. It is obvious that if your
parents
Use synonyms
 have a job, they will not have time to control and check your education results.
In contrast
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
 global problem, we have upbringing
that is
Linking Words
 very low
in contrast
Linking Words
 to other
issues-only
Correct your spelling
issues
show examples
 5
percent
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. A lot of the
podcast
Fix the agreement mistake
podcasts
show examples
 about how much raising a child is vital in our society
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 really needed.
However
Linking Words
, not all
parents
Use synonyms
 going to put
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
to help
Change preposition
into helping
show examples
 their child to be
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 version of himself or they do not have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
patience. The next ones are
Bulling
Correct your spelling
Bullying
show examples
 and Peer group pressure which
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
have the same percentage-15.Not surprising,
due to
Linking Words
 the fact
of
Change preposition
that
show examples
 social media
that providing
Wrong verb form
provides
show examples
 us with
this
Linking Words
 information.A
big
Correct word choice
large
show examples
 amount of students
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 bullied in class and it
is really affects
Change the verb form
really affects
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mental health problems.There
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a different types of
bulling
Correct your spelling
bullying
show examples
 and with
newest
Correct article usage
the newest
show examples
 technologies
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
it can be really easy. Unfortunately, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a lot of stories on the internet about
this
Linking Words
 issue and sometimes it can cause a negative ending.Seeing that we can
also
Linking Words
 feel
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
peer group pressure and unhealthy competition. In
Use synonyms
school
Add a comma
school,
show examples
 students can contribute your bad
mood
Fix the agreement mistake
moods
show examples
within
Change preposition
to
show examples
 unpleasant results of
exam
Fix the agreement mistake
exams
show examples
 that can influence
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
low self-esteem.
Linking Words
Further
Add a comma
Further,
show examples
 we have
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of
school
Use synonyms
 discipline which is 25
percent
Use synonyms
. Not all even adult people can be disciplined since
they
Add a verb
they are
they were
show examples
 afraid to lose or to get awful feedback. To sum it up, the first place
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 bad attendance is working
parents
Use synonyms
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is 40
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. The second place is lack of
school
Use synonyms
 discipline, which is 25
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. The percentage of
bulling
Correct your spelling
bullying
show examples
 and peer pressure is
equal-15
Correct your spelling
equal to 15
.And the
last
Linking Words
 place is upbringing which is 5
percent
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast, that is".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words school, parents, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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