IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Climate change is a big environmental problem that has become critical in last couple of decades. Some people claim that humans should stop burning fossil fuels and use only alternative energy resources, such as wind and solar power. Others say that oil, gas and coal are essential for many industries, and not using them will lead to economic collapse. What is your opinion? Support your point of view with relevant examples.

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It is an irrefutable fact that the
last
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 few decades have been the hottest in the history of humanity, with climate change causing a major threat to the Earth. Some individuals say that human beings should use wind and solar
energy
Use synonyms
instead
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 of non-renewable
energy
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sources
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. Others,
however
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, believe that not using conventional
energy
Use synonyms
sources
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 can result in the failure of the economy. In my opinion,
although
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 fossil
fuels
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 have fueled industrial growth, it is extremely important to try and reduce the usage of it to prevent more environmental damage. To start with, some people think that the use of fossil
fuels
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 should be stopped
due to
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 its large number of disadvantages. First and foremost, to collect resources humans mine in the mining fields which can disturb the tectonic plates of the Earth and ultimately result in natural disasters
such
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 as earthquakes and volcanic eruptions.
Additionally
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, the greenhouse gas
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
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 from oil, gas, and coal will have negative impacts on climate change
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for
Add the comma(s)
, for
show examples
 example, global warming, rising sea levels and
air
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 pollution. To illustrate, New Delhi has a bad
Air
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 Quality Index
due to
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 high
air
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 pollution caused by the burning of fossil
fuels
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.
Furthermore
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, shifting towards using renewable
energy
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sources
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has many benefits like reducing greenhouse
gases emission
Fix the agreement mistake
gas emissions
show examples
 and
no
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
releasing
Replace the word
release
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 of
air
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 pollutants so people can breathe fresh and clean
air
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.
Conversely
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, It is said that the importance of traditional
energy
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sources
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 cannot be ignored. To elaborate, fossil
fuels
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 significantly contribute
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
supply
Add an article
the supply
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 of electricity to
majority
Add an article
the majority
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 of the nations.
In addition
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, It helped in the growth of industrialization and factories.
Therefore
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, It is said that no usage of fossil
fuels
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 can lead to economic failure. To summarize, both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
sources
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 have
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 merits and demerits. In my perspective, the former viewpoint is better as green
energy
Use synonyms
 is less harmful to the environment.

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task response
Clarify some ideas with more specific examples. When discussing the environmental and economic implications, try to provide concrete evidence or data to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
While the essay is generally structured well, consider improving the logical flow between paragraphs. Transitions and linkers can enhance cohesion and make your arguments more comprehensible.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, clearly outlining and summarizing your stance on the issue.
task response
You have identified the relevant points of view on both the environmental and economic aspects of using fossil fuels and renewable energy.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • mitigate
  • renewable energy sources
  • economic collapse
  • fossil fuels
  • solar power
  • wind energy
  • alternative resources
  • clean energy
  • technological advancements
  • government subsidies
  • energy transition
  • reliability
  • job creation
  • economic benefits
  • global warming
  • carbon footprint
  • sustainability
  • innovation
  • infrastructure
  • regulatory framework
  • energy efficiency
  • climate resilience
  • decarbonization
  • socioeconomic impact
  • energy security
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