IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

tiPaying all workers the same salary in a company promotes harmony and respect among colleagues. to what extent do you agree or disagree.

It is being said by many that each employee should
receieve
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receive
same
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the same
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 wage that will be helpful in maintaining harmonious and respectful behaviour. I completely disagree with
this
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 because
same
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the same
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 wage for every worker would be unfair and
employees
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 will lack determination towards their
work
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 which I will explain below. The main reason is that
employee
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employees
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 will feel inequality
at
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in
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workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
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. Highly-educated people
if
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apply
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earn
similar
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a similar
show examples
Use synonyms
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
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 as
individuals
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 who are less educated,
then
Linking Words
 it will create
Correct article usage
an invalueable
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invalueable
Correct your spelling
invaluable
 experience among seniors. As workers who have struggled through their lives and gained years of experience to reach
at
Correct your spelling
a
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 high position will go in vain.
For example
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, seniors and other
individuals
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 who
goes
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go
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 to universities to qualify for particular positions would get wasted, if less educated people
earns
Wrong verb form
earned
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 equal
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salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
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.
Hence
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,
this
Linking Words
 is not a great idea to pay equally as it will create unfairness.
Secondly
Linking Words
,Higher positions require determination which would not be noted in workers. If
employees
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 are earning
same
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the same
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salary
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, they will not make any effort to get promoted.
This
Linking Words
 will
also
Linking Words
 reduce their performance and
company's
Correct article usage
the company's
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 productivity.
For example
Linking Words
,
individuals
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 will not
work
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 hard for promotion because they will get comfortable in earning
exact
Correct article usage
the exact
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salary
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as
Change preposition
apply
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others are getting, and if they
not
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do not
did not
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work
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 properly,
company
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the company
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 will
loose
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lose
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 effectiveness at
work
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, employers should not provide
same
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the same
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 wage to all
employees
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.
To conclude
Linking Words
, similar
earning
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earnings
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 would create disrespectful and unfair behaviour among experienced
employees
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 and
company
Correct article usage
the company
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 will be less productive if
individuals
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 are not determined to do
thier
Correct your spelling
their
work
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Try to include more specific examples or data to support your arguments. This will strengthen your discussion and show a deeper engagement with the topic.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to maintain the focus and flow of ideas. This will enhance the logical sequence in your essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear position on the topic and maintains this stance throughout the argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the essay, helping to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay is generally well-structured with distinct paragraphs, each dedicated to a specific aspect of the argument.
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