IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Employers should give its staff at least four weeks ofholidays a year to make employees do better in their jobs.To what extent do you agree or disagree

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Some argue that employees should take
long lasting
Add a hyphen
long-lasting
show examples
 holidays a year and pretend that it will help them to
rise
Verb problem
increase
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 their productivity. In my point of view, I firmly
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
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 that employers should give vacations to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 staff members,
Linking Words
nevertheless
Add a comma
nevertheless,
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 the duration of the holiday should be
compromized
Correct your spelling
compromised
compromise
 between both sides to avoid affecting negatively the work process. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, we will dive into the depth of these statements.
To begin
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 with, it is assumed that taking days off from one's job is a
non negociable
Correct your spelling
non-negotiable
 right for all workers all over the world. In fact, holidays are synonyms of joyful, relaxing and chilling days that we spend with our family members or friends.
In addition
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 to that, taking a pause from the repetitive monotonous working days procures a feeling of release and liberation. Numerous research had shown that the level of Serotonin in the blood
raise
Correct your spelling
rises
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 after two weeks of holidays, making individuals feel more enthusiastic and serene which will positively affect their productivity.
Moreover
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, a good employee is a synonym
of
Change preposition
for
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well-rounded
Add an article
a well-rounded
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 person, with
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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 social, mental and psychological life. The different aspects of life
mentionned
Correct your spelling
mentioned
 earlier are the fuel for a productive, creative and goal-oriented employee.
On the other hand
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, a long lasting holiday, with at least four weeks can cause troubles in the work process.
In other words
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, every employee has a specialized task that only
him
Correct pronoun usage
he
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 is able to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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, that's why long duration
vacancy
Fix the agreement mistake
vacancies
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 can
perturbate
Correct your spelling
perturbative
perturbation
 and cause
Add an article
a delay
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delay
Fix the agreement mistake
delays
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 in targets,objectives and meetings.
Moreover
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, a long pause may engender
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
difficulty
of
Change preposition
in
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 reintegration with colleagues and
also
Linking Words
lost
Replace the word
loss
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their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
 skills and
facilitty
Correct your spelling
ability
 to deal with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
habitual tasks. All things considered, in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
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 it can
be conclude
Change the verb form
be concluded
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 that a balanced approach is the best way to preserve both
sides
Change noun form
side's
sides'
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 rights and avoid
to harm
Change the verb form
harming
show examples
 the business plan.

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task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples or case studies to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Work on refining the clarity of your ideas, ensuring they are comprehensive and easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, maintaining the flow of ideas.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced view on the topic, considering both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, outlining your position effectively.
coherence cohesion
The main points are logically structured, contributing to an effective argument.
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