The chart below shows the promotions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English in 2000 and 2010. Summarise and write the information in about 150 words making relevant comparisons

The chart below shows the promotions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English in 2000 and 2010. Summarise and write the information in about 150 words making relevant comparisons
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The given pie charts provide information about the percentage of students who speak another
language
Use synonyms
than English between
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
2000 and 2010.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 not only did Spanish is the most popular
language
Use synonyms
in the first year, but it
also
Linking Words
increased in the second year.
In addition
Linking Words
, German was the least spoken
languaje
Correct your spelling
language
and remained the same percentage in the two years. Spanish was the most significant
language
Use synonyms
spoken, as it demonstrated a growing
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
trend; it started at 30% and gained five points in 2010.
Similarly
Linking Words
, figures of two other
Use synonyms
language
Change to a plural noun
languages
show examples
and another
language
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
tended to earn five points as they were 10% and 15% to 15% and 20%
correspondingly
Rephrase
respectively
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, no other
language
Use synonyms
lost
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
half of its quantity since
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2000
got
Verb problem
apply
show examples
at 20% and at 10% in 2010. In the same way,
French
Change the article
the French
show examples
language
Use synonyms
lost a third part as it went from 15% to 10%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
German
Replace the word
Germany
show examples
only, maintained a constant trend as it ranked 10% twice.
Submitted by oscarsanmo on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words language with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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