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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

A trend in current times is the need for many workers to spend time outside of company hours answering text and e-mail messages for their job. What problems does this cause for the worker? What can be done to reduce the impact of these problems?

In recent busy times,
employees
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 have to
work
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 hard to complete their
work
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 goals. Nowadays, most of the workers have to
work
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 outside of their company’s working
hours
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 to reply
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 essential texts and e-mail messages.
This
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 current trend has some problems, which I will discuss
further
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 with some possible solutions in the following essay.
To begin
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 with, there are several issues that can be considered. First and foremost, individuals are ruining their personal lives by engaging themselves in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work
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after-
Correct your spelling
after hours
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hours
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.
For example
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,
due to
Linking Words
 spending
time
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besides
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 office
hours
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, one cannot get enough
time
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 to spend quality
time
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 with their loved ones, which could affect to lessen
a
Correct article usage
apply
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family bonding.
Besides
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this
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, mental health is
also
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 getting worse because of
over
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overtime
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time
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work
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. To illustrate, spending
time
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 outside of the organization’s
hours
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 can impact on person’s peace, which could increase stress and decrease dedication.
However
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, there are numerous steps that can be taken to reduce the impact of these problems. The company should implement a strict policy and regulation for their
employees
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.
For instance
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, by introducing
“no
Correct article usage
a “no
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 after-
hours
Use synonyms
work
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” policy, the organization could make sure that their workers do not
work
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 after their designated
time
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
. Apart from that, employers should encourage their
employees
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 to respect their colleague’s privacy by not contacting them
after-
Correct your spelling
after hours
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hours
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. In conclusion, it is very essential for
employees
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 to get personal
time
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 after their
work
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.
Therefore
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, everyone has to follow the rules and regulations of the company to not contact anyone after working
hours
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. As
this
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 will directly affect the growth of the individual and the company.

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention a scenario or statistic to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Try to enhance the flow between paragraphs. Using transitional phrases could improve the connection between the ideas.
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively sets the tone and direction of the essay by mentioning the problems and solutions that will be discussed.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion successfully summarizes the main points and reinforces the idea that employees need personal time after work.
task achievement
The essay maintains a clear focus on the topic of after-hours work impacting employees and suggests solutions, demonstrating a comprehensive response.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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