IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagrams show how the bee makes honey and the stages in the production of honey. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting main features and making comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams show how the bee makes honey and the stages in the production of honey. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting main features and making comparisons where relevant.
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The given pictorial description depicts the information about how
honey
Use synonyms
 has been made by honeybees
along with
Linking Words
 the steps involved in the process of producing
honey
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are six major stages in which
Use synonyms
bee
Fix the agreement mistake
bees
show examples
 make
honey
Use synonyms
 starting from laying
egg
Fix the agreement mistake
eggs
show examples
 by the queen
bee
Use synonyms
 to
leave
Wrong verb form
leaving
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 nectar in the
hive
Use synonyms
. To commence
with
Change preposition
apply
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, first of all, the queen
bee
Use synonyms
lay
Wrong verb form
lays
show examples
Add an article
an egg
show examples
egg
Fix the agreement mistake
eggs
show examples
 in the honeycomb and after three days larvae
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 created which
grows
Correct subject-verb agreement
grow
show examples
 to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 fullest within a week. Three weeks later
Use synonyms
bee
Fix the agreement mistake
bees
show examples
 leave the
hive
Use synonyms
 to gather the nectar from flowers. Afterwards, nectar is left in the
hive
Use synonyms
 and
honey
Use synonyms
 is made. Probing
further
Linking Words
, the production of
honey
Use synonyms
 is done by the
Use synonyms
bee keeper
Correct your spelling
beekeeper
show examples
 who
started
Wrong verb form
starts
show examples
 with the removal of the honeycomb from the
hive
Use synonyms
.
Honeycomb
Correct article usage
The honeycomb
show examples
 is taken to the machine where
honey
Use synonyms
 is extracted before boiling it to remove the impurities.
Then
Linking Words
,
honey
Use synonyms
 is added to the jars. At
last
Linking Words
, it is ready for distribution and selling.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words honey, bee, hive with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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