Some think that it is more important for children to engage in outdoor activities instead of playing video games. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

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There is no denying the fact that some people

thought

Wrong verb form

think

show examples

that it is important for

kids

Use synonyms

to do outdoor

activities

Use synonyms

instead

Linking Words

of playing video

games

Use synonyms

. In

this

Linking Words

essay,

Change the capitalization

show examples

will talk about

this

Linking Words

point of view and my opinion as well. On the

first

Correct word choice

other

show examples

hand, there

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

lot

Use synonyms

of reasons and good

effect

Fix the agreement mistake

effects

show examples

of outdoor

activities

Use synonyms

. It

help

Change the verb form

helps

show examples

kids

Use synonyms

in a

lot

Use synonyms

diffrent

Correct your spelling

different

sides.

For example

Linking Words

, it

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

kids

Use synonyms

to grow,

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

lot

Use synonyms

frindshipes

Correct your spelling

friendships

and

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

clear

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Use synonyms

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

minds. To clear what

Change the capitalization

show examples

say, doing a

lot

Use synonyms

out side

Correct your spelling

outside

show examples

activities

Use synonyms

means that the

kids

Use synonyms

will get with each other and that will result

Change preposition

show examples

making

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

new

frindships

Correct your spelling

friendships

friendship

Conecting

Correct your spelling

Connecting

with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

nature helps the

children

Use synonyms

to refresh and to get all the negative energy out of their body and

also

Linking Words

take a major of positive energy from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

nature. There was a study on

this

Linking Words

topic in 1999, it was

Change preposition

show examples

Oxforde

Correct your spelling

Oxford

University. the doctors

toke

Verb problem

took

show examples

about 20

child

Change to a plural noun

children

show examples

and they put 10 of them in video

games

Use synonyms

for one month and 10 to apply in outdoor

activities

Use synonyms

. The outcome of

this

Linking Words

recearche

Correct your spelling

research

researcher

was so clear that the

kids

Use synonyms

who

was

Change the verb form

were

show examples

playing in outdoor

activities

Use synonyms

was

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

show examples

happeir

Correct your spelling

happy

and they

have

Wrong verb form

had

show examples

lot

Use synonyms

frinds

Correct your spelling

friends

also

Linking Words

they

have

Wrong verb form

had

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

good energy. And

the

Capitalize word

The

show examples

other

children

Use synonyms

grop

Correct your spelling

group

who

was

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

show examples

playing video

games

Use synonyms

became so angry and they

have

Wrong verb form

had

show examples

frinds

Correct your spelling

friends

also

Linking Words

they

was

Change the verb form

were

show examples

stresfull

Correct your spelling

stressful

. In conclusion,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children

Use synonyms

Linking Words

this days

Change the determiner

this day

these days

show examples

start

Wrong verb form

have started

show examples

using electronic devices more than

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

past. And that

bacause

Correct your spelling

because

of their parents start paying them to have

those kind

Change the determiner

that kind

those kinds

show examples

vidieo

Correct your spelling

video

games

Use synonyms

. So my opinion is to stop paying them to

bey

Correct your spelling

buy

show examples

this

Linking Words

kind of

stufes

Correct your spelling

stuffs

stuff

. And start going out with them to do outdoor

activities

Use synonyms

. I believe that they will love it so much .

serenhamad3Tue Feb 04 2025

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Language

Try to use a variety of vocabulary and avoid repeating words such as 'kids', 'outdoor activities', and 'video games'. This will make your writing more engaging.

Language

Ensure that sentences are grammatically correct and check for spelling errors. For instance, 'diffrent' should be 'different', 'frindshipes' should be 'friendships', and 'happeir' should be 'happier'.

Cohesion

Add some transition words to improve the flow of your essay. Phrases like 'On the one hand', 'Furthermore', or 'In contrast' can help connect your ideas more effectively.

Task Achievement

Elaborate more on your points to provide depth. For example, when you mention the effects of outdoor activities, you could explain how they contribute to social skills or physical health.

Content

You presented a clear opinion, indicating that you have thought critically about the topic.

Structure

The structure of your essay is generally clear, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
49
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

303 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

physical health
exercise and movement
social interaction
teamwork
communication skills
cognitive skills
problem-solving
strategic thinking
hand-eye coordination
holistic approach
environmental awareness
sedentary lifestyle
obesity
posture
balance

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Some think that it is more important for children to engage in outdoor activities instead of playing video games. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Differences between countries are becoming less evident. Nowadays people watching the same films, fashion, brands, advertisements and TV channels. To what extent do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advantages?

Some people believe that the care of elderly people should be a priority of government spending. Others believe that government spending should focus more on young people, especially on their education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some parents think that childcare centres provide the best services for children of pre-school age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better carers for their kids. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

An average British child watches television for more than 20 hours in a week and indulge in 7 hours of physical activity. What is the situation in your country and what are the causes of it? What are the solution to overcome the same?