IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the proportion of males and females in Malaysia who commonly do physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where necessary.

The chart below shows the proportion of males and females in Malaysia who commonly do physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where necessary.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 information about
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
show examples
 of
Correct your spelling
men's
men
mens
Correct your spelling
men
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
women
womens
Correct your spelling
women
show examples
 in
Change the capitalization
Malaysia
show examples
malaysia
Change the capitalization
Malaysia
show examples
 who usually
do
Wrong verb form
did
show examples
 physical exercise in 2010
Overall
Linking Words
 ,
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the persentage
show examples
persentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of physical
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
activity
 of
Use synonyms
womens
Correct your spelling
women
show examples
 always had
taken
Verb problem
apply
show examples
high levels.The proportion of
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
women
women's
womens
Correct your spelling
women
show examples
 and
Correct your spelling
men's
mens
Correct your spelling
men
 65 and over had similar
indicator
Fix the agreement mistake
indicators
show examples
 exactly 56 rate The highest rate showed
a females
Correct the article-noun agreement
females
a female
show examples
 from 35 to 44 reaching more than 50
Use synonyms
persentage
Correct your spelling
per cent
also
Linking Words
 the same indicator had the
Use synonyms
womens
Correct your spelling
women
women's
 between 45 and 54
moreover
Linking Words
 the citizens of Malaysia from 55 and 64
surprysingly
Correct your spelling
surprisingly
 had similar achievement .
That
Correct determiner usage
The
show examples
 age
Correct your spelling
groups of
group of
groupsof
Correct your spelling
group
 males ,the
Correct your spelling
older the
older
olderthe
Correct your spelling
older
 age than higher the
Correct your spelling
per cent
persent
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of
doing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
exercise The
Use synonyms
persentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of Malaysian
teenegars
Correct your spelling
teenagers
 starting
15
Change preposition
at 15
show examples
 and ending
24
Change preposition
at 24
show examples
 working out, illustrating that their quantity
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
 than 50
Use synonyms
persentage
Correct your spelling
per cent
, reaching a peak in 2010 . Malaysian men who were aged from 25 to 34 worked out around 42 ,
although
Linking Words
 women, who worked out regularly,illustrated less than 50.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words womens, persentage with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • gender distribution
  • physical activity
  • age group
  • percentage
  • comparative analysis
  • peak levels
  • notable differences
  • trends
  • discrepancies
What to do next:
Look at other essays: