Countries such as China, India, and Japan have unsustainable population growths. In fact, many experts are of the opinion that the population ‘explosion’ which is now a very worrying concern, is the most serious threat to life on this planet. Give some suggestions to address this problem
In the contemporary era, the
population
Use synonyms
are increase
in the number of individuals in some countries. Change the verb form
increases
This
includes women, men, Linking Words
children
in the city. Correct word choice
and children
However
, many experts are Linking Words
giving
concerns over the Verb problem
raising
growths
of Fix the agreement mistake
growth
Use synonyms
population
, which is more threat to life on the earth. In Correct article usage
the population
this
essay, I will justify my opinion with some of the reasons.
To commence with, Linking Words
the
family planning programs Correct article usage
apply
implement
to educate individuals about contraception and encourage smaller families. Wrong verb form
are implemented
Such
programs can raise awareness about the benefits of having fewer children. Linking Words
For example
- Gender equality Linking Words
and
Correct word choice
apply
empower
women by improving career opportunities, which often leads to delayed childbirth and reduced birth rates. Correct subject-verb agreement
empowers
Additionally
, In some Linking Words
states
males were given much importance than Add a comma
states,
other
females because of Correct word choice
apply
such
past mentality of Linking Words
an
ancestors.
Moving ahead, To encourage economic development that focuses on sustainable growth and incorporates Change the word
their
population
control measures, initiatives that Use synonyms
rise
living Correct your spelling
raise
standard
often correlate with reduced fertility rates. Fix the agreement mistake
standards
For example
- In the countryside, the living standard Linking Words
are
very poor and only two out of four children are studying in schools and by Change the verb form
is
this
method we can improve their living standard. Linking Words
Furthermore
, to Linking Words
strenghthen
the healthcare systems to ensure the availability and Correct your spelling
strengthen
accessibilty
of reproductive health services, including contraception.
In conclusion, I reiterate, that the family planning programs implement to educate individuals about contraception and encourage smaller families. To encourage economic development that focuses on sustainable growth and incorporates Correct your spelling
accessibility
population
control measures, initiatives that Use synonyms
rise
living Correct your spelling
raise
standard
often correlate with reduced fertility rates which cannot be overlooked either.Fix the agreement mistake
standards
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Grammar
Make sure to use the appropriate verb forms. For example, it should be 'the population is increasing' instead of 'the population are increase.'
Clarity
Clarify your points. Some ideas, while valid, could be expressed more clearly to enhance understanding. Try to develop each point fully before moving to the next one.
Cohesion
Work on the cohesiveness of your sentences and paragraphs. Use linking words consistently to improve the flow of your ideas.
Content
You have introduced some important points regarding population control and economic development.
Context
You've made a good attempt to present your opinion on a pressing global issue.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite