Some people have argued that video games are a waste of time, and people should spend their time and money on better hobbies. Do the advantages of video games outweigh the disadvantages ?

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There are more

disadvatages

Correct your spelling

disadvantages

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show examples

playing

video

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games

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over advantages. For

one

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, it is a waste of

time

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. Playing

video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

can take up so much of your

time

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without knowing.

For example

Linking Words

one

Use synonyms

could be in his zone and forget that there are more important things to do

such

Linking Words

as having a meal, cleaning the house, doing your

laundryr

Correct your spelling

laundry

even doing your homework. Another cons

for

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show examples

playing

video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

, and

this

Linking Words

imporant

Correct your spelling

important

, is that

it's affecting

Wrong verb form

it affects

show examples

their

health

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Overtime

Correct your spelling

Over time

show examples

, research has been saying that some people could get addicted to playing

video

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games

Use synonyms

to the point of not sleeping and locking themselves in their bedroom which in effect is harming their social life as well. Rather than playing

video

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games

Use synonyms

, it would be wise to spend

one

Use synonyms

time

Use synonyms

and money on better hobbies

such

Linking Words

sports

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which

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

a lot of benefits namely our physical, social and emotional

health

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For example

Linking Words

doing

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

swimming as a sport can help a lot

Change preposition

with

show examples

our physique. It can strengthen our muscle and body coordination which in effect can increase our stamina. Other than the

physicall

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physical

benefits, being in a sport,

one

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is able to build his circle of friends since they share the same interests and passion and for

this

Linking Words

, it builds

ones

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one's

show examples

social life. Perhaps after a swimming practice, the team can go out for dinner or go shopping together, even build true friendships of a lifetime.

Lastly

Linking Words

, doing some physical work releases happy hormones that in turn

affects

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affect

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the emotion. It has been proven that people who do

sports

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or workout, they are relatively happy,

postive

Correct your spelling

positive

people as compared to those who never

does

Change the verb form

show examples

but

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

burry

Correct your spelling

bury

show examples

themselves to stress and workload. In conclusion, there

Add a missing verb

are more

show examples

disadvantages

Change preposition

show examples

doing

video

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

over

Change preposition

than

show examples

sports

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. In doing

video

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games

Use synonyms

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

wastes

Correct subject-verb agreement

waste

show examples

ones

Change to a genitive case

one's

show examples

time

Use synonyms

and could eventually affect their

health

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whereas

Linking Words

in doing

sports

Use synonyms

one

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improves their physical, social and emotional

health

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. It has a lot of benefits

overall

Linking Words

asllchkiedMon Feb 17 2025

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task achievement

Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction for better clarity.

coherence and cohesion

Try to link your ideas more explicitly to improve the logical flow from one point to the next.

task achievement

Consider elaborating on your ideas with more specific examples to strengthen your arguments further.

task achievement

You provided relevant points about the disadvantages of video games and the advantages of sports.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure, with distinct paragraphs for each main idea.

task achievement

You included examples to support your claims, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

327 words

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Some people have argued that video games are a waste of time, and people should spend their time and money on better hobbies. Do the advantages of video games outweigh the disadvantages ?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Many employees can now do their work from home using modern technology. However, this change may only benefit workers, not the employers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, some parents pressure their children to be successful in a specific field. What are the reasons for this? Is it negative or positive?

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now ‘one big traffic jam.’How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?

Some people say that the technology advancement enables people to entertain at home. What are the advantages and disadvantages?