IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The demand for online coaching services and video courses has grown significantly in the digital age. Some now feel this method of learning is a superior option to in-person learning. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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There is a rapid growth of demand for online coaching services and video
courses
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 in the digital era. Some
people
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 believe that
this
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 method of studying is more favourite in
compare
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comparison
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 to conventional learning nowadays. I completely agree with
this
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 statement as
digital
Correct article usage
the digital
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 era is offering flexible
time
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 for everyone.
Consequently
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,
people
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 who
are have
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have
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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little
time
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 for studying will be able to learn in any
places
Fix the agreement mistake
place
show examples
 and suitable
time
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. The
undergoing
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apply
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digital era has affected
human
Correct article usage
the human
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 way
for
Change preposition
of
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 learning new things, especially for those who will not be able to attend the traditional classroom setting.
Furthermore
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, the digital product
such
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 as video and online services are easier to
acces
Correct your spelling
access
 than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traditional
courses
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.
For instance
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,
people
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 who work in
construction
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the construction
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 industry are finding it difficult to gain more knowledge because they have
small
Add an article
a small
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 proportion of
time
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 to do it.
Therefore
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, online classes are very helpful for them. For some
people
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time
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 and
places
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place
show examples
 might be the biggest problem for pursuing another
skills
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skill
show examples
 or title. But, the development of
digitalized
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the digitalized
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 world is bypassing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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distance and the
little
Correct word choice
small
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 proportion of
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time
Add an article
the time
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.
Moreover
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, the digital
courses
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 are helping
people
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 who can not attend the long distance location.
For example
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,
people
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 who live in rural areas will be able to join
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
courses
a course
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courses
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 even
it
Correct your spelling
if
show examples
conducting
Wrong verb form
conducted
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 in big cities which it is far from their
hometown
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hometowns
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.
Thus
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,
people
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 who choose to live in some areas that might be far from
course
Correct article usage
the course
show examples
site
Fix the agreement mistake
sites
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 are
prefering
Correct your spelling
preferring
 digital
courses
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. in conclusion, digitalization is proposing flexible
time
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 for
people
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 who
wants
Correct subject-verb agreement
want
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 to study.
In addition
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,
this
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 development
also
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have surpassing
Wrong verb form
surpasses
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 the distance for
people
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 who
lived
Wrong verb form
live
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 in far
location
Fix the agreement mistake
locations
show examples
.

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language use
Consider rephrasing "more favourite in compare to" to a clearer alternative such as "more favorable compared to".
coherence
Try to vary your sentence structures and use more complex sentences to enhance the flow of your writing.
task achievement
You provided relatable examples, such as those working in the construction industry, which effectively illustrates your points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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