IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You are a member of an organisation which meets regularly at a particular restaurant. The most recent meal you had there was not satisfactory. Write a letter to the manager of the restaurant. In your letter explain why you are writing describe what went wrong with the meal and service suggest what the manager should do to ensure that you and your group return to the restaurant

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Dear manager. I hope, you are doing well today, and have got time to look through my letter. I am
definately
Correct your spelling
definitely
scare
Wrong verb form
scared
show examples
 of your restaurant. Me and my group, we are always guests in
this
Linking Words
 restaurant and we love
this
Linking Words
 place, but
last
Linking Words
 time when we were in the lounge and eating our orders and
dicided
Correct your spelling
decided
 to get dessert after meals. Everything
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 delicious as always. But, when we got bills, It seemed it was
extension
Add an article
an extension
the extension
show examples
 and when I showed it
others
Change preposition
to others
show examples
,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they
also
Linking Words
 thought it was redundant bills.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 I asked
waiters
Correct article usage
the waiters
show examples
, they told me it
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 not our business and
you
Correct pronoun usage
I
show examples
 should
aske
Correct your spelling
ask
manager
Correct article usage
the manager
show examples
 about that problem. So
that is
Linking Words
 why, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to you.
Also
Linking Words
, one
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 our group, had a frozen meal and she
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 not
satisfactory
Replace the word
satisfied
show examples
 with that, but
after
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
problem
Add a comma
problem,
show examples
 she forgot to mention that with waiters. Me and my group would like to suggest us solution
from
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 problem. Because, as I mentioned, we love
this
Linking Words
 place and we would not like to happen
this
Linking Words
 again. Yours Sincerely. Harry

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Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to properly address your concerns more clearly and separately in distinct paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Check for grammatical errors, especially verb tenses and subject-verb agreement, to improve clarity.
Task Achievement
Use a more formal tone and avoid informal phrases—this will enhance the overall quality of your letter.
Task Achievement
You expressed your appreciation for the restaurant and emphasized the importance of the issue, which shows a thoughtful approach.
Task Achievement
Your letter included relevant details about the issues encountered, which is important for effective communication.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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