Some think that it is more important for children to engage in outdoor activities instead of playing video games. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

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Participation in
activities
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is crucial for
Use synonyms
child's
Correct article usage
a child's
show examples
growth whether
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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outdoor
Replace the word
outdoors
show examples
or
indoor
Correct your spelling
indoors
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however
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there are some
individualls
Correct your spelling
individuals
who opine
children
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should focus more on physical
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
activity
rather than indoor
games
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especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
video
games
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.
Thesedays
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These days
both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
activities
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are important
however
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i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
totally agree with the
upmentioned
Correct your spelling
mentioned
up mentioned
belief of
individulas
Correct your spelling
individuals
.
To begin
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with, are outdoor
activities
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important for
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child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
? Certainly, if
children
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spend more time doing physical
activities
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then
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he/she will
be remain
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remain
show examples
fit and healthy.
Also
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,outdoor activity is a great way of doing recreational
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
. To elaborate
it
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apply
show examples
, as we know outdoor
activities
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offer time to feel fresh especially racing,
footlball
Correct your spelling
football
,
basketball
Correct word choice
and basketball
show examples
which are mostly challenging as these
involves
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involve
show examples
stamina and fitness.
On the other hand
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,
videos
Change the noun form
video
show examples
games
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doesn't
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don't
show examples
allow
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Add an article
the child
a child
show examples
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
to engage in
such
Linking Words
activities
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due to
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which they become lazy and
continuous
Change the word
continuously
show examples
playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
results in weak eyesight and obesity.
As a result
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,
children
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should focus more on outdoor
games
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rather than video
games
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because
childs
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
are
compartability
Correct your spelling
comparability
compatibility
compart-ability
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
healthier and fit in
former
Add an article
the former
show examples
case.
Moreover
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, kids will become confident and extrovert. To be more precise,
by
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apply
show examples
engaging and communicating with peers
while
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playing makes them comfortable and they can easily express themselves.
However
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, it is commonly observed nowadays kids who are inclined towards computers or
videos
Change the noun form
video
show examples
games
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are more
introvert
Replace the word
introverted
show examples
and anti-social, which may create problems for them in future mainly
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
workplaces.
Hence
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,
children
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should try to focus more on playing outdoor
games
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instead
Linking Words
of sitting at house and playing video
games
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.
To conclude
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,
nodoubt
Correct your spelling
doubt
both the
activities
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offers
Correct subject-verb agreement
offer
show examples
great fun to
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child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
but I
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
performing outdoor
activities
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on
regular
Correct article usage
a regular
show examples
basis may not only help
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child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
to remain healthy and fit but
also
Linking Words
gives
Correct subject-verb agreement
give
show examples
them a chance to develop social skills which they usually miss in indoor
activities
Use synonyms
.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs have clear topic sentences and maintain a consistent structure throughout to improve logical flow.
task achievement
Make sure to proofread for spelling and grammatical errors, as these can distract from your message and impact clarity.
task achievement
Consider including more specific examples that illustrate your points, as this can enhance the relevance and strength of your arguments.
task achievement
You express a clear viewpoint on the importance of outdoor activities for children, which is a good foundation for any argumentative essay.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates the potential benefits of outdoor activities, such as improved health and social skills, which adds depth to your argument.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • physical health
  • exercise and movement
  • social interaction
  • teamwork
  • communication skills
  • cognitive skills
  • problem-solving
  • strategic thinking
  • hand-eye coordination
  • holistic approach
  • environmental awareness
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • obesity
  • posture
  • balance
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