IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Percentage of Australian men and women doing regular physical activity: 2010 60 7 52.8 52.5 53.3 53 50 47.7 48.9 46.7 47.1 45.1 42.2 43.1 39.5 Percentage (%) 40 30 20 10 0' 15 to 24 25 to 34 35 to 44 45 to 54 Age group 55 to 64 65 and over Male Female

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Percentage of Australian men and women doing regular physical activity: 2010 60 7 52.8 52.5 53.3 53 50 47.7 48.9 46.7 47.1 45.1 42.2 43.1 39.5 Percentage (%) 40 30 20 10 0' 15 to 24 25 to 34 35 to 44 45 to 54 Age group 55 to 64 65 and over Male Female
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The percentage of
Australians
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Australian
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mela
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males
 and
female
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females
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 in 6 different
age
Use synonyms
 groups who
did exercise
Wrong verb form
exercised
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 regularly in 2010 is illustrated in
given
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the given
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 bar chart.
overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that
,
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apply
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 the proportion of men engaged
to
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in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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physical activities
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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decreased until
the
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apply
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middle
age
Use synonyms
 and
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
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afterward
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afterwards
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,
whereas
Linking Words
, for women, it rose steadily from teens till 64 and fell significantly, and in 65 and over both sexes are approximately the same. physical activities Looking
to
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at
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 the bar chart more closely, it can be seen that,
to
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apply
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the highest number of men was
in
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between
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
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 of 15 to 24 at 52.8%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
age
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 group 35 to 44 had the least participants of
this
Linking Words
 gender by 39.5%. Regarding the females, the trend was
increasingly
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increasing
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 from the
age
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 of 15 at 47.7% and it reached its peak in
Use synonyms
age
Add an article
the age
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 group of 45 to 54 by 53.3%. The number of females began to decrease
in
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at
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Use synonyms
age
Correct article usage
the age
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 of 65 and over to 47.1%

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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