IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows the contribution free relevant of three sectors - agriculture, manufacturing and business and financial services - to the UK economy in the twentieth century.

The graph below shows the contribution free relevant of three sectors - agriculture, manufacturing and business and financial services - to the UK economy in the twentieth century.
The bar chart illustrates the number of selected
sector
Fix the agreement mistake
sectors
show examples
, namely
agriculture
Use synonyms
, manufacturing and business, and financial services in the UK economy in four periods from 1990 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clearly seen that there is a significant difference. In the first years,
agriculture
Use synonyms
 and manufacturing recorded the highest ratio and other
item
Fix the agreement mistake
items
show examples
 had the lowest proportion.
While
Linking Words
,
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
last
Linking Words
periods
Change to a genitive case
period's
periods'
show examples
agriculture
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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plummeted sharply,
by contrast
Linking Words
, business was a sharp increase.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, it is evident that in 1900,
agriculture
Use synonyms
 and manufacturing were
dramatic
Change the word
dramatically
show examples
 climbed around 50 and just above two-a fifth respectively. Turning to
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
show examples
 figure remarked just one in twenty.
Further
Linking Words
 analyzing the data, one striking observation is that business and financial services had
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
 fraction
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
contribution
Correct article usage
the contribution
show examples
 free approximately roughly a quarter. Compared to the first option which represented
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
5% in 2000.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words agriculture with synonyms.
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