IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You recently bought some train tickets for a journey a week in advance. When you went to the station to catch the train, you were told you could not use the tickets and the staff were very unhelpful to you. Write a letter to the train company. In your letter: Describe the problem you had with the tickets Say why were unhappy with the staff Suggest what action the train company should take

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Dear Manager, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to share feedback
of
Change preposition
on
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 my recent experience with your Gujarat Railways. I had purchased
tickets
Use synonyms
 for the
first class
Add a hyphen
first-class
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 compartments of the Mumbai Express for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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five people.
Although
Linking Words
, I had paid all the charges
of
Change preposition
for
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 the
tickets
Use synonyms
 , your staff at the booking counter refused to accept
that
Correct pronoun usage
those
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tickets
Use synonyms
 and asked me to buy new
tickets
Use synonyms
 as previously booked
tickets
Use synonyms
 could not be used. I explained them very well and
shown
Wrong verb form
showed
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 all the
proofs
Fix the agreement mistake
proof
show examples
 of booking, I felt disappointed with your services and
behaviour
Correct article usage
the behaviour
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 of your employees. It was an important event in my family for that we planned to go
Change preposition
to mumbai
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mumbai
Change the capitalization
Mumbai
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 but
due to
Linking Words
 the negligence of your company, My family members and I suffered a lot, we had to book a bus from the travel agency and paid double charges because of the emergency. It was
inconvient
Correct your spelling
inconvenient
 to travel for
the
Correct article usage
a
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 long trip
in
Change preposition
on
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 a bus. I believe the management should return the amount which I paid for the booking and
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 am
also
Linking Words
 asking for the free
tickets
Use synonyms
 for our next trip. I am looking forward to your response. Yours Sincerely, Anamika Kadikar

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task response
While your letter addresses the problem, ensure that the introduction briefly outlines the context before diving into details. This helps in setting the stage for your main points.
coherence and cohesion
Use more connecting phrases to improve the flow of your letter. For example, you can use phrases like 'Furthermore,' or 'In addition,' to better link your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Try to keep your sentences concise and clear. For example, instead of 'I had purchased tickets for the first class compartments of the Mumbai Express for the five people,' you could simply say, 'I purchased five first-class tickets for the Mumbai Express.'
task response
You have effectively communicated your frustration and provided a clear description of the issue. This helps the reader understand your situation.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your letter is generally well-organized, with a clear flow of information about the issue, your feelings, and your suggestions.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • disappointed
  • inconvenience
  • frustrated
  • incompetent
  • unhelpful
  • inconsiderate
  • ruined
  • compensation
  • refund
  • apology
  • reimbursement
  • improvement
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