IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

You live in a room which you share with another student. You have some problems with your roommate. Write a letter to the accomodation officer of the college to change your room. In your letter: *mention the problems you are facing *say how these problems are affecting you *request for a new room

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Dear
Accomodation
Correct your spelling
Accommodation
 officer, I hope you are doing well I am studying in
Correct pronoun usage
my second
show examples
second year
Add a hyphen
second-year
show examples
Change preposition
of machinical
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machinical
Correct your spelling
mechanical
diplome
Correct your spelling
diploma
 at your college and my hostel
room
Use synonyms
 number is 145 where
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 have been staying
from
Change preposition
since
show examples
 my day
of
Change preposition
at
show examples
 college. I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to bring your attention
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 issue that I have been facing
due to
Linking Words
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
my
roommate
Use synonyms
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I discussed already
this
Linking Words
 issue with you when we met in the college's library where you told me that you
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 talk with my
roommate
Use synonyms
 to resolve my matter and its almost one ago month pass the
sitution
Correct your spelling
situation
 remain same. My
roommate
Use synonyms
 is
junior
Correct article usage
a junior
show examples
 from me he is in his first year of
study
Use synonyms
. He is
toally
Correct your spelling
totally
 pre-mature by nature. He is late night person ,
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
and while
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 was doing my
Use synonyms
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
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 he
watches
Wrong verb form
watched
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movie
Fix the agreement mistake
movies
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on
Change preposition
at
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 high volume
due to
Linking Words
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 my
study
Use synonyms
 getting disturb
also
Linking Words
 sleeping patterns. He always
talk
Change the verb form
talks
show examples
 over the phone at
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 pitch. I feel very
discomfortable
Correct your spelling
uncomfortable
 in my own space
definately
Correct your spelling
definitely
this
Linking Words
 kind of behaviour will
Rephrase
definitely effect
show examples
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
my mental health. One of one
friend
Use synonyms
's
roomate
Correct your spelling
roommates
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is leaving his
room
Use synonyms
 as he
started
Wrong verb form
starts
show examples
 to live with his family. I would suggest you
to
Remove the particle
apply
show examples
move me to my
friend
Use synonyms
's
room
Use synonyms
 he is good
in
Change preposition
at studying
show examples
study
Use synonyms
 and we will
study
Use synonyms
 together. So, I would like to request you please either you could change my
roommate
Use synonyms
 or move me
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 my
friend
Use synonyms
's
room
Use synonyms
. My
Use synonyms
friend
Change noun form
friend's
show examples
room
Use synonyms
 number is 133 you can
concern with
Verb problem
contact
show examples
 him. I will
wait
Add the preposition
wait for
show examples
 your positive reply. Yours Sincerely, Hitesh

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coherence cohesion
Ensure you have a clear structure by properly dividing your letter into paragraphs, each addressing a specific aspect of your message.
task achievement
Make sure to proofread your letter for spelling and grammatical errors (e.g., 'accommodation' instead of 'accomodation', 'totally' instead of 'toally', 'situation' instead of 'sitution').
task achievement
While you have made your request clear, it could be more formal. Phrases like 'I would like to request' can be more politely formulated as 'I kindly request'.
task achievement
You clearly outlined the issues with your roommate, which effectively demonstrates your concern.
task achievement
You made a specific request to change your room, showing that you are proactive about finding a solution.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • accommodation
  • disturbance
  • privacy
  • cleanliness
  • impact
  • well-being
  • academic success
  • discuss
  • compromise
  • resolve
  • environment
  • issues
  • request
  • change
  • quality of life
  • noisy
  • uncooperative
  • stressful
What to do next:
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