In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays, it is more and more usual to move to another
city
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to find better
work
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.
People
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decide to leave their families and friends, in order to build a prosperous future.
This
Linking Words
choice can have benefits, especially related to professional and economic achievements.
However
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, there are
also
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several drawbacks. Leaving family could be
a
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an
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issue, and it could lead to loneliness. Changing
city
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can be a completely positive experience. A new environment means new challenges, opportunities,
discoveries
Correct word choice
and discoveries
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.
In particular
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, in a big
city
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, there are numerous job careers available, and most of them pay more than those in towns.
Additionally
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, finding a job in a big company seems more easy, with the possibility
to gain
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of gaining
show examples
importance inside the team after a couple of years. Recent research from an American university has shown that 90% of
people
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, who move from a town to a
city
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to find
work
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, would do it again in relation to the income achieved.
Nevertheless
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, leaving our own family could be difficult, especially when there are children involved. The relationship between parents and sons could be affected negatively. Without one of their parents, kids can feel left behind.
Moreover
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,
people
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in
this
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situation need to travel at least every month, which could be stressful and expensive, especially when there is
flight
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a flight
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trip between
work
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and family.
Moreover
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, finding a place in a different environment might be challenging.
To sum up
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, in some countries
people
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find
work
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in another
city
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, leaving families, friends, and homes.
While
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it could be a positive choice, leading to an important career, sometimes it just is complicated and painful. Without
doubt
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a doubt
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, the disadvantages are far more - and more concerning - than the benefits.

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task achievement
Consider expanding your introduction to clearly express your stance regarding the advantages and disadvantages, as well as briefly outlining them. This can provide a clearer roadmap for the reader.
task achievement
Make sure to explicitly connect your points to the question asked, ensuring that each paragraph reinforces your main argument about the advantages versus disadvantages.
coherence
Improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs to enhance clarity and coherence. Use linking words to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence
In your conclusion, reiterate your main points directly related to the question and your perspective on whether advantages outweigh disadvantages. This adds strength to your argument.
structure
You present a balanced view by discussing both advantages and disadvantages, which is essential for this type of essay.
content
You include relevant examples and points that support your argument, especially regarding job opportunities in larger cities, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • relocation
  • employment prospects
  • professional development
  • cultural exposure
  • isolation
  • familial relationships
  • cost of living
  • career progression
  • mental health
  • significant life events
  • higher salaries
  • support families
  • broaden horizons
  • living standards
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