IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

(2024) The office you work in does not have any cafeteria for staff. Write a letter to your manager to request setting up a cafeteria for the staff. In your letter, you should tell, what you heard about the inconvenience from the staff how you feel about it what suggestions you have about setting up a cafeteria

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 inform about an unsatisfactory situation faced by the workers owing to the absence of cafeteria at the workplace.
Firstly
Linking Words
, as the staff requires to
starts
Wrong verb form
start
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 early in the mornings, they are unable to get
caffinated
Correct your spelling
caffeinated
 before reaching the office.
As a result
Linking Words
, the sense of tiredness clouds their thoughts.
Additionally
Linking Words
, without any
types
Fix the agreement mistake
type
show examples
 of beverage, Co-workers
finds
Correct subject-verb agreement
find
show examples
 it hard to function throughout the day.
For instance
Linking Words
, the individuals from
software
Correct article usage
the software
show examples
department
Change noun form
department's
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 efficiency
tends
Change the verb form
tend
show examples
 to drop without any coffee intake. I sense
this
Linking Words
 issue is not just only
effecting
Correct your spelling
affecting
show examples
 my
collegues
Correct your spelling
colleagues
, it
also
Linking Words
 leaving a poor mark on
company
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
 as
whole
Correct article usage
a whole
show examples
.
Although
Linking Words
 I can function with any beverage, I believe to be true that my
collegue
Correct your spelling
colleague
colleagues
 finds it hard to do so.
For instance
Linking Words
, my assistant is
addictted
Correct your spelling
addicted
 to coffee, and he could not get any
work
Use synonyms
 done without caffeine.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I request you to install a small station for coffee. It would be really helpful and effective to boost the
work
Use synonyms
outputs
Fix the agreement mistake
output
show examples
. Yours sincerely, Jojo

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general
Make sure to use complete sentences and correct grammar throughout the letter.
coherence
Try to structure your paragraphs more clearly, with each focusing on a single idea.
task achievement
Ensure to clarify how the absence of a cafeteria impacts overall productivity and morale in more detail.
tone
Consider using more formal expressions to enhance professionalism in the letter.
content
The letter is polite and includes a clear request, which is a positive aspect.
content
The writer effectively highlights the issue faced by staff regarding caffeination, which is relateable and shows understanding of colleagues' needs.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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