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Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below show the comparison of time spent, in minutes per day, by UK males and females on household and leisure activities in 2008.

The charts below show the comparison of time spent, in minutes per day, by UK males and females on household and leisure activities in 2008.
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The table and bar chart below
illustrate
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illustrates
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 the
different
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difference
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 between The United Kingdom
males
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 and
females
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 regarding
time
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spend
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spent
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 in
minutes
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 per day on household and free
time
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 activities in 2008. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it is readily apparent that both groups spend more
time
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 on TV, radio
an
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and
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 video
on
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in
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 their free
time
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 ,
while
Linking Words
 the least amount of
time
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spend
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spends
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 on fitness activities. For
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
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males
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 and
females
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spending
Wrong verb form
spend
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 more
time
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on
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apply
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cooking and washing dishes . To
ranke
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run
 the
activity
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 that most
males
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 and
females
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 like to do
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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in their leisure
time
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 , watching
tv
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TV
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, videos and
listen
Wrong verb form
listening
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 to
radio
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the radio
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 were in
the
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apply
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first place
by
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with
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 137
minutes
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 of
males
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’
time
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 and 118
minutes
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 of
females
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’
time
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. In the second place reading
book
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books
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by
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in
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 one minute
different
Add a missing verb
is different
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 .In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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last
Linking Words
 place
sport
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sports
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 activities,
by
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with
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 15
minutes
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 of
males
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’
time
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 and
11minutes
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11 minutes
 of
females
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’
time
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. For
house work
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housework
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activity
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 ,
females
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 were higher than
males
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 in cooking and washing dishes by almost more than 50
minutes
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different
Replace the word
difference
show examples
 between the two groups .
Male
Fix the agreement mistake
Males
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spending
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spent
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time
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 on clothing washing , ironing
females
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 repairing
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activity
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activities
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 were the lost
activity
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 by almost 10
minutes
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 in both groups.
Time
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spend
Wrong verb form
spent
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 on shopping was almost
25minutes
Correct your spelling
25 minutes
 for
males
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 and almost 30
minutes
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 for
females
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words males, females, time, minutes, activity with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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