IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

Many
people
Use synonyms
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 to move from
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
country
Use synonyms
 for work
porpuses
Correct your spelling
purposes
show examples
 which
keep
Correct subject-verb agreement
keeps
show examples
 them away from their friends and families, there
re
Correct your spelling
are
show examples
advantegas
Correct your spelling
advantages
 and
disadvantegs
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will discuss
booth
Correct your spelling
both
show examples
 of them , and i held believe that the advantages are more outweigh the disadvantages.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
du
Correct your spelling
due
show examples
 to so
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
 factors which
depends
Change the verb form
depend
show examples
 on the person to find work in
onther
Correct your spelling
another
country
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
,there are some
people
Use synonyms
believe
Correct pronoun usage
who believe
show examples
 there are some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
advantages
from
Change preposition
to
show examples
 working
out side
Correct your spelling
outside
show examples
 of their
country
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 our current time,
such
Linking Words
 as it offering a good salary or
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of different benfits , it can
also
Linking Words
 be learning something new from working outside their
country
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
 it can
also
Linking Words
 be good on personal matter to find more friend t the working area.
Also
Linking Words
 in
economical
Correct word choice
economic
show examples
Correct your spelling
changes
changaes
Add a comma
changaes,
show examples
 it could be more
benefits
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
on
financial
Add an article
a financial
show examples
 basis.
In addition
Linking Words
 , it could offer more opportunities
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
than their
country
Use synonyms
.
Any how
Correct your spelling
Anyhow
show examples
, about the disadvantages, they can find some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Add an article
the difficulty
show examples
difficulty
Fix the agreement mistake
difficulties
show examples
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 working there
such
Linking Words
 as,
cant
Correct your spelling
can't
show examples
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
 along
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the
people
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
working there or living in the city , the second thing is they
cant
Correct your spelling
can't
show examples
 find any cheap
resdient
Correct your spelling
resident
residents
 to stay in , as their home town was maybe little cheaper, it
also
Linking Words
 can present the feeling of homesick were you will be missing your friends or families. In conclusion, after discussing and
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
arguments,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 still
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
 that there are
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
benfeits
Correct your spelling
benefits
 that
people
Use synonyms
 working
out side
Correct your spelling
outside
show examples
 their countries and
leave
Wrong verb form
leaving
show examples
 away their friends and
familis
Correct your spelling
families
family
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • relocation
  • employment prospects
  • professional development
  • cultural exposure
  • isolation
  • familial relationships
  • cost of living
  • career progression
  • mental health
  • significant life events
  • higher salaries
  • support families
  • broaden horizons
  • living standards
What to do next:
Look at other essays: