IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You work for an international company. You have seen an advertisement for a training course which will be useful for your job. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter, - describe the training course you want to do - explain what the company could do to help you - say how the course will be useful for your job Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to request a training session leave to attend a
course
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, that will be held on the 1st of October,
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that
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which
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 is around 3 weeks from now which will enhance
in
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apply
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my career development.
Firstly
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, I have been looking for a
course
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 that will help me in developing my career prospects. And I have come across a
course
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that is
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 "project management training" in the business sector,
that is
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 held for 2 weeks from the beginning of every month. It is a practical training
course
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 consisting of 3 modules and tutorials.
Furthermore
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, I would appreciate
if
Correct pronoun usage
it if
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 I could be given permission to attend the
course
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 as it is held in a
class room
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classroom
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. I can
ensure
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assure
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 you that all my duties will be carried out by me and any extra tasks will
also
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 be fulfilled by my team. I have arranged with Mrs Smith, and she will be in charge around the time of my leave.
While
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 the training sessions really alleviate handling
heavy
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a heavy
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 load of tasks in a strategic and efficient manner, it
also
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 boosts the employee's confidence
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that
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which
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 is essential in our field of expertise.
In addition
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,
to
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apply
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introducting
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introducing
 the most recent technologies and inventory present,
that
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apply
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will add great value to my work experience. Hope you consider my request favourably. Looking forward to
hear
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hearing
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 from you soon. Yours sincerely, Wahgh Hjuk

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coherence and cohesion
The letter could benefit from a clearer logical flow. Try to ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea and is linked smoothly to the next. For example, your explanation of how the course is useful could be clearer if introduced with a transition sentence.
task achievement
When mentioning the arrangement with Mrs. Smith, provide a bit more detail about how it will ensure your responsibilities are covered. This will enhance the confidence in your request.
task achievement
The letter has a polite and formal tone, which is suitable for a business context.
task achievement
You provide specific details about the course, including its duration and content, which demonstrates the relevance of the training.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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