IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Average percentages of sodium, saturated fats and added sugars in typical meals consumed in the USA. Assel

The three pie charts illustrate the middle proportion of
sodium
Use synonyms
, saturated fat and added sugar in daily meals consumed in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, dinner contributes the highest percentage
for
Change preposition
of
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sodium
Use synonyms
 and saturated fat,
while
Linking Words
in
Change preposition
apply
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added sugar
mainly
Add a missing verb
is mainly
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 consumed
snacks
Change preposition
in snacks
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, breakfast is the lowest part of all three nutrients. Dinner accounts for 43% of
sodium
Use synonyms
 and 37% of saturated fat, making it the heaviest meal in terms of these two nutrients. Lunch follows with 29%
sodium
Use synonyms
 and 26% saturated fat,
while
Linking Words
 breakfast is the least significant, contributing only 14%. The uptrend percentage of added sugar comes from snacks at 42%, far exceeding dinner
23
Change preposition
at 23
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%, lunch
19
Change preposition
at 19
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% and breakfast
16
Change preposition
at 16
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%.

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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on the data presented in the pie charts by ensuring you describe the significance of each nutrient in relation to the other meals.
coherence
Consider adding linking phrases to improve the flow of your essay, such as 'In addition', 'Furthermore', or 'Moreover'.
coherence
Make sure to include a summary or conclusion that wraps up the information you provided.
task achievement
The essay clearly identifies trends in sodium, saturated fats, and added sugars in meals, which is an important aspect of the task.
task achievement
You have effectively summarized the data with clear percentages, which aids understanding.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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