IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people support the idea of imposing taxes on fossil fuels (oil, coil and gas) in order to reduce energy consumption. Other people disagree with this approach. Consider the debate and its arguments, and come to your own conclusion.

In recent years, the
use
Use synonyms
 of
vehicles
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 increased considerably leading to environmental pollution.
People
Use synonyms
 are divided in their opinion regarding
levying
Correct word choice
whether levying
show examples
 heavy
taxes
Use synonyms
 on fossil fuels can reduce the consumption of
energy
Use synonyms
 or not. I strongly agree with the idea
of
Change preposition
that
show examples
 imposing
taxes
Use synonyms
 on fossil fuels can reduce
energy
Use synonyms
 consumption.
This
Linking Words
 essay highlights the reasons with valid
explanation
Fix the agreement mistake
explanations
show examples
 and examples for the same.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, increasing
taxes
Use synonyms
 on
energy
Use synonyms
 fuels can discourage
people
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
from using
show examples
use
Use synonyms
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
vehicles
Use synonyms
, resulting in less pollution. More and more
people
Use synonyms
 will
use
Use synonyms
 public transport for commuting from work to home.
Due to
Linking Words
 less number of
vehicles
Use synonyms
 on the
roads
Use synonyms
, the problem of traffic congestion can be solved to a greater extent saving precious time
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
, which can be utilised by them
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 leisure
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
.
People
Use synonyms
 will be able to spend more quality time with their near and dear ones.
Secondly
Linking Words
, there would be
reduction
Add an article
a reduction
show examples
 in government expenses on
Correct article usage
the maintainence
show examples
maintainence
Correct your spelling
maintenance
 of
roads
Use synonyms
, as the condition of
roads
Use synonyms
 will not deteriorate in
short
Add an article
a short
show examples
 span of time as less number of
vehicles
Use synonyms
 are running on the
roads
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the common man will be more affected
Linking Words
due
Change preposition
by
show examples
 to increase in
taxes
Use synonyms
 and not the affluent ones.
For example
Linking Words
, A person living in
remote
Add an article
a remote
the remote
show examples
 area where the frequency of public transport is less
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 will suffer as he will be forced to
use
Use synonyms
 his personal car for commuting and the increase in
taxes
Use synonyms
 affect his income.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it will have an adverse effect on the economy of
nation
Add an article
the nation
a nation
show examples
,
due to
Linking Words
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
 in consumers. Many petrol pumps will shut down
due to
Linking Words
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of customers,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
 employees of
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 power
station
Fix the agreement mistake
stations
show examples
 will turn jobless. In conclusion,
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in
taxes
Use synonyms
 will surely help in
reduction
Add an article
the reduction
show examples
 of
energy
Use synonyms
 consumption, resulting in lesser pollution and better condition of
roads
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that the thesis statement clearly outlines the main points that will be discussed in the essay. This helps the reader follow your argument more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., furthermore, however, for this reason) to improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread for grammatical errors and typos (e.g., 'their' instead of 'there', 'maintenance' instead of 'maintainence'). Correct grammar enhances clarity and professionalism.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion on the topic and attempts to discuss both sides of the argument.
task achievement
Some relevant examples are provided to support the argument, which adds strength to the points made.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: