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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph shows the percentages of Australian export with four countries. The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012

The line graph shows the percentages of Australian export with four countries. The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012
The line charts display the proportion of
Australia
Correct your spelling
Australian
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exports
Use synonyms
 with four nations which were
Japan
Use synonyms
,
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
,
China
Use synonyms
, and
India
Use synonyms
 between 1990 and 2012.
overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the line shows United
State
Fix the agreement mistake
States
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 significantly
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
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since
Change preposition
from
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 1990 to 2012. Followed by
China
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, there was a
rose
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rise
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 up 10 years
since
Change preposition
from
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 1990 to 2010 and slightly fell 2 years until the end of
this
Linking Words
 period.
In contrast
Linking Words
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other countries
such
Linking Words
 as
Japan
Use synonyms
 and
India
Use synonyms
 had been
droped
Correct your spelling
dropped
 during
this
Linking Words
 period. In terms of
India
Use synonyms
, there was
Correct article usage
a fluctuated
show examples
fluctuated
Replace the word
fluctuating
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 trend at
this
Linking Words
 stage.
India
Use synonyms
 reached around 13
percent
Use synonyms
 of
exports
Use synonyms
 and the lowest in 2012 just under 10 %.
Japan
Use synonyms
 had
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the top
exports
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 among
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 3 countries in 1990 just over 25
percent
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 until they
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 in 2012 below 20 %. America was
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
exports
Use synonyms
 highly growth over 12 years
in
Change preposition
from
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 2000 to 2012.
Linking Words
This nations
Change the determiner
This nation
These nations
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 became the highest
exports
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 between
China
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,
India
Use synonyms
 And
Japan
Use synonyms
 which was 30
percent
Use synonyms
 in 2012. Despite
this
Linking Words
,
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 and
China
Use synonyms
 ever the lowest
exports
Use synonyms
 within under 5
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1990

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Vocabulary: Replace the words exports, japan, china, india, percent with synonyms.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Line graph
  • Percentage
  • Exports
  • Trend analysis
  • Upward/downward trend
  • Fluctuation
  • Comparison
  • Peak performance
  • Decline
  • Stability
  • Significant
  • Inferred
  • Global events
  • Economic context
  • Reflect
  • Influence
  • Patterns
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