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Writing Samples
Band 4

The pie charts below show the comparison of different kinds of energy production of France in two years. DDD

The pie charts below show the comparison of different kinds of energy production of France in two years. DDD
The pie charts demonstrate the proportion of five sources of
energy
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
, including coal,gas,
petro
Correct your spelling
petrol
, nuclear, and
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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, in France over a decade from 1995 to 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, nuclear and other types of
production
Use synonyms
, which were the lowest among others at the beginning, experienced a gradual increase
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period. Meanwhile, two other types of
energy
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
 changed negligibly,
whereas
Linking Words
 petrol plummeted significantly. It can be clearly seen that other
energy
Use synonyms
 stood at 4.90% in 1995 and doubled by 4,2% in 2005.
Similarly
Linking Words
,nuclear,which was the fourth significant
energy
Use synonyms
 product in 1995 , increased by 3.8% from 6.40% to 10.10% in 2005.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there was a moderate rise in coal
production
Use synonyms
 from 29.80% to 30.93% in 2005.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
production
Use synonyms
 of gas rose by 0.63% from 29.63% to 30.31%.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, there was a gradual decline of 9.28% from 29.27% to 19.55% in 2005.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, production with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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