IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the bar chart shows the data of five portions of fruits and vegitables eaten by children, males and females per ay in the uk between 2001 and 2008

the bar chart shows the data of five portions of fruits and vegitables eaten by children, males and females per ay in the uk between 2001 and 2008
the bar chart illustrates the data of five
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
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 of fruits and
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vegetables
vegitables
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vegetables
 eaten by
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children
chilren
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children
, males
an
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and
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female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
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 per
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day
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ay
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day
show examples
 in the
uk
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UK
 from 2001 to 2008
Overall
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the provided data, it can
be observe
Change the verb form
be observed
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 that there are
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
 changes for the year for every category as
provie
Correct your spelling
provided
 data women are on leaing position every year.
Moreover
Linking Words
, men are in
mile
Correct article usage
a mile
show examples
 position.
However
Linking Words
,
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children
chilren
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children
 are at the lowest rank as per
bar
Correct article usage
the bar
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 chart
Firstly
Linking Words
,women are
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the position over all
years
Correct article usage
the years
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 from 2001 to 2008 starts from slightly above 20% and ends
on
Change preposition
at
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 30% .
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
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 it went on above 30% in 2006 . On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand men, Consistently
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintained
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 their 2nd rank from 2001 to 2008 . Begin from above 15% and finish as little up from 25%.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
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children
childern
Correct your spelling
children
 are at the lowest in the rank ,they consistently
performs
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perform
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same
Correct article usage
the same
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 as
three
Change preposition
in three
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 years from 2001 to 2003 at
little
Correct article usage
a little
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 above
the
Correct article usage
apply
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10% after that the percentage gradually increase and
end
Wrong verb form
ended
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 up
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 25% in
final
Add an article
the final
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 year

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "data" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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