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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below gives information from a2008 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projectionsuntil 2030. Summarise the information by selecting andreporting the main features, and makecomparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information from a2008 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projectionsuntil 2030. Summarise the information by selecting andreporting the main features, and makecomparisons where relevant.
The bar graph represents the amount of energy consumed by six types of fuel in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 starting from 1980 to project till 2030 in
units
Use synonyms
 of quadrillion.
Overall
Linking Words
, the consumption of all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
types of fuels
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 increased except hydropower. Petrol and oil have completely dominated the market since the start and
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 predicted the same till the
end
Use synonyms
, by showing
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 maximum resurgence too. It is apparent that Petrol and Oil started from 35
units
Use synonyms
 in 1980 and
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
declined only twice in 1985 and 1995, but after that has shown a constant rise and is predicted to reach
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the top with around 48
units
Use synonyms
. Coal started at third position from around 16
units
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
, showed a tremendous inclination leaving behind natural gas after 2015 and is expected to
end
Use synonyms
second,
Linking Words
by reaching approximately 30
till
Change preposition
by
show examples
 2030.
In contrast
Linking Words
, natural gas has oscillated from the start, starting at around 20, fluctuated till 2015 and
then
Linking Words
 remained steady at around 25 and is
forseen
Correct your spelling
foreseen
 to remain so till the
end
Use synonyms
 of the period. Throughout the period, the less utilized ones were nuclear, solar/wind and hydropower started together from 3 in
1980's
Correct article usage
the 1980's
show examples
 but afterwards
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 shown different trends. Out of these three, nuclear has shown the most change, it stayed constant for
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 years starting from 2005 to 2025, and is expected to
end
Use synonyms
 a little high at about 7.
Similarly
Linking Words
 solar/wind, dipped a little bit from 1990 to 2000, but is expected to
end
Use synonyms
 at 5.
In contrast
Linking Words
, hydropower juggled till 2010 by falling to 2.5 and is expected to
end
Use synonyms
 at same in 2030.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words units, end with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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