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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph shows the price of banana in Japan, France, Germany and the USA from 1994 to 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant

The line graph shows the price of banana in Japan, France, Germany and the USA from 1994 to 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant
The line graph compares the
price
Use synonyms
 of
banana
Fix the agreement mistake
bananas
show examples
 in 4 different countries between 1994 and 2004.
Overall
Linking Words
,the four countries experienced different trends in the time period.
While
Linking Words
 the
price
Use synonyms
 of
banana
Fix the agreement mistake
bananas
show examples
 in Japan,France and Germany rose with some fluctuations,the
price
Use synonyms
 in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 stayed stable. As the graph shows Japan's
price
Use synonyms
 of banana started under 2.00 dollars in 1994 ,rose sharply ,
then
Linking Words
 fell from 2.55 to 2.00 in 1995 and 1996. It
gradual
Change the word
gradually
show examples
 increased to 2.15 between 3 years, dipped to 1.60,but it rose steadily to 2.50 by 2004 .
Regarding
Change preposition
apply
show examples
France's
price
Use synonyms
 was stable at 1.70
between3
Correct your spelling
for
 years,declined slightly,and
then
Linking Words
 returned to the initial
price
Use synonyms
. After
fluctuated
Wrong verb form
fluctuating
show examples
,later it fell to 1.00 by 2003,
then
Linking Words
 it increased to 1.60 in 2004. Germany showed a steady
price
Use synonyms
 of 1.40 from 1994 to 1998 .
However
Linking Words
 in 2000 it dropped
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 1.10,after it increased
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 1.40,
then
Linking Words
 it increased
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 1.40 , and declined slightly to 1.20 by 2004. In the USA , the
price
Use synonyms
 rose from 0.70 in 1994 to 1.20 in 1995. After slight changes ,
this
Linking Words
 figure stayed stable
during
Change preposition
for
show examples
 6 years at 1.10.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words price with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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