IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The line shows the consumption of fast food among teenagers between 1975 and 2000. Summarise the informatsion by selecting and reporting the main features , and make comparison where relevant

The graph compares how many times Australian
teenagers
Use synonyms
 consumed three types of fast food from 1975 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
,
fish
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 and
chips
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 became less popular among Australian
teenagers
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,
while
Linking Words
 the consumption of
hamburgers
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 and pizza increased over the period. By the end of the period,
hamburgers
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 were eaten the most, and
fish
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 and
chips
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 became the least preferred fast food At
Correct article usage
the begininng
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begininng
Correct your spelling
beginning
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 1975
fish
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 and
chips
Use synonyms
 were the most popular.
Teenagers
Use synonyms
ate
Wrong verb form
eat
show examples
 them about 100 times per year. Afterwards, the figure went down gradually each year and reached 40 in 2000.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
teenagers
Use synonyms
 at more
hamburgers
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 started at 10in 1975 and increased to 100 in 2000 pizza started at about 5 and to 85 in 1975
then
Linking Words
 stayed the same.
This
Linking Words
 shows that
teenagers
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 changed their eating over time. In the
1970
Correct your spelling
1970s
 and early
Correct your spelling
1980s
1980
Add a comma
1980,
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 they
prefferred tradinional
Correct your spelling
preferred traditional
 food like
fish
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 and
chips
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.
whereas
Linking Words
 later more western style foods like more western style foods like
hamburgers
Use synonyms
 and pizza become popular

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use more clear comparison words, like 'in contrast' or 'similarly' to show differences and similarities.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific numbers for each category, and make sure to explain trends clearly, using complete sentences.
task achievement
You summarized the main trends well, showing the change in fast food preferences over time.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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