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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The first chart shows the percentage of women and men in a country involved in some kinds of home tasks (cooking, cleaning, pet caring and repairing the house). The second chart shows the amount of time each gender spent on each task per day. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The first chart shows the percentage of women and men in a country involved in some kinds of home tasks (cooking, cleaning, pet caring and repairing the house). The second chart shows the amount of time each gender spent on each task per day. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
The two bar charts compare the involvement of
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 in a country with regard to four types of household tasks: cooking, cleaning, pet care, and house repairs. The first chart shows the percentage of each gender participating in these activities,
while
Linking Words
 the second displays the average
time
Use synonyms
 they spend per day on each.
Overall
Linking Words
,
women
Use synonyms
 are more involved in traditional domestic chores
such
Linking Words
 as cooking and cleaning, both in terms of participation and
time
Use synonyms
 spent.
Men
Use synonyms
,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, are more engaged in house repairs and spend slightly more
time
Use synonyms
 on pet care. In terms of cooking, about 80% of
women
Use synonyms
 do
this
Linking Words
 task compared to only 60% of
men
Use synonyms
, and
women
Use synonyms
 spend approximately 85
minutes
Use synonyms
 per day on it, 25
minutes
Use synonyms
 more than
men
Use synonyms
. A similar pattern is seen in cleaning, where around 60% of
women
Use synonyms
 participate versus 40% of
men
Use synonyms
, and the
time
Use synonyms
 spent is 70
minutes
Use synonyms
 for
women
Use synonyms
 against just under 50
minutes
Use synonyms
 for
men
Use synonyms
. Pet care sees a fairly equal proportion of participation, roughly 20% for both genders, though
men
Use synonyms
 spend slightly more
time
Use synonyms
 than
women
Use synonyms
. The biggest contrast is in house repairs:
while
Linking Words
 about 20% of
men
Use synonyms
 do them compared to less than 10% of
women
Use synonyms
,
men
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 spend nearly 20
minutes
Use synonyms
 a day on
this
Linking Words
 task,
whereas
Linking Words
women
Use synonyms
 spend less than 10
minutes
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, time, minutes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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