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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The
Correct your spelling
This
show examples
 illustrates the top ten nations for the
production
Use synonyms
 and usage of electricity in the year 2014. The data is measured in billion kWh.
Overall
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
China comes first following
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States as
highest
Add an article
the highest
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 proportion of
production
Use synonyms
 has been noticed,
following
Wrong verb form
followed
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 by other places like Russia, Japan, India, Canada, France, Brazil, Germany and Korea respectively.
Additionally
Linking Words
, Germany is the only country
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 has more consumption than
production
Use synonyms
 in
mentioned
Add an article
the mentioned
show examples
 time.
Also
Linking Words
, Russia has
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 difference between making and using a source
around
Change preposition
of around
show examples
 19 billion kWh; which is the lowest difference compared to any other country;
Whereas
Linking Words
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States
the
Add a missing verb
has the
show examples
 highest difference between their ability to make 4099 and consumption at 3866.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Japan and India have their
production
Use synonyms
 of electricity
more
Change preposition
of more
show examples
 than 930 and 850. To add on the consumption is less
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 860 and 690 respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
, countries like France, Brazil and Germany have around the same rate of
production
Use synonyms
 and usage of electricity.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words production with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • electricity production
  • electricity consumption
  • disparity
  • significant
  • top ten countries
  • main features
  • compare
  • relevant
  • geographical concentration
  • trends
  • patterns
  • implications
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