IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The line graph below shows the consumption of 4 kinds of meat in a European country from 1079 to 2004. Summarise the information and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below shows the consumption of 4 kinds of meat in a European country from 1079 to 2004. Summarise the information and make comparisons where relevant.
The following line graph illustrates the
consumptions
Fix the agreement mistake
consumption
show examples
 of different kinds of meat ; chicken , beef ,lamb ,and fish over a period from 1079 to 2004. The X-axis represents the years and the Y-axis indicates the quantity in grams per person per week .
Overall
Linking Words
 , the
consumption
Use synonyms
 of beef and lamb decreased , chicken
consumption
Use synonyms
 increased a lot
while
Linking Words
 the fish
consumption
Use synonyms
 remained at the same level.
Firstly
Linking Words
, chicken
consumption
Use synonyms
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
rose from 150 grams per person
perweek
Correct your spelling
per week
 to a peak of 250 grams per person per week in 2004 .
Secondaly
Correct your spelling
Secondly
,

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words consumption with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: