IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Traffic congestion and housing problems in larger cities could be solved by moving large industries and factories and their employees to the rural areas. What extent do you agree or disagree ?

Nowadays, it has been argued that the best way to tackle the problem of traffic congestion and housing in urban areas
by
Verb problem
is by
show examples
 moving large industries and
manufacturies
Use the right word
manufacturing
show examples
 with their workers to the countryside.From my point of view
l
Punctuation problem
, l
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absolutely disagree with the statement
due to
Linking Words
 the damage which will happen to the environment in the area. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I will support my opinion by showing the drawbacks. One of the main disadvantages of taking the business facilities to the rural areas is that it will cause issues for the local people.
This
Linking Words
 means they will not only experience the traffic ,but
also
Linking Words
 all
the
Correct article usage
apply
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kinds of pollution
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as air pollution, noise even water pollution.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they used to live in a quiet place and
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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 lifestyle,
Linking Words
Correct word choice
but while
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while
Change preposition
if
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 they are moving that to them
Punctuation problem
, the
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the
Correct pronoun usage
their
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citizens life
Check wording
lives
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 will be ruined
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they may get angry so
they
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 could cause a massive strike.Take China as an example
Punctuation problem
. in
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in
Fix capitalization
In
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2000
Punctuation problem
2000,
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 they had a significant increase in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
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 because of the
lorry's
Check wording
lorries
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 for
manufactured
Replace the word
manufacturing
show examples
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
. then
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then they
Rephrase
They
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dissuaded
Verb problem
failed
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 to address
that
Correct determiner usage
this
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 by
changing
Verb problem
moving
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 the
place
Check wording
location
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 to the
country
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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Linking Words
finally
Punctuation problem
finally,
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 the issue was solved
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 the
Use synonyms
country
Check wording
country's
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 people were not happy. Another negative to support
that is
Linking Words
 the
worser
Correct your spelling
worst
 solution is that the crops might be ruined in the future .
As a result
Linking Words
, the
Use synonyms
country's
Check wording
country
show examples
 will see a dramatic drop in the number of harvesters . Despite the fact
the
Correct article usage
that
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 people will face a real
hanger
Use the right word
hangover
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the
Punctuation problem
, the
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 other
city's
Check wording
cities
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 around the
country
Use synonyms
 will see a rise
of
Change preposition
in
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 the natural proudest as they are becoming
rear
Use the right word
rare
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. In conclusion, having looked at the topic in detail , on balance,
this
Linking Words
 method had more negative than positive
Check wording
effects,it
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,
Punctuation problem
;
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it is true that the problem will disappear in the capital city , but
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 will cause it in
onther
Correct your spelling
other
state
Fix the agreement mistake
states
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. In my opinion, it is a wild idea to make it so
l
Punctuation problem
. l
show examples
hope the government think of other ways.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly outline your main points in the introduction. State your position clearly in one sentence.
coherence cohesion
Use clear linking words to connect your ideas. For example, use 'firstly', 'next', and 'finally' to guide the reader.
task achievement
Expand on your examples. Explain clearly how your examples are related to the main points.
task achievement
You have taken a clear position in your essay, stating that you disagree with the statement.
task achievement
You presented a relevant example with China, which supports your argument against moving industries to rural areas.
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