IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You are a customer at a restaurant and recently had a very disappointing experience. Write a letter to the restaurant manager. In your letter: Explain what happened. Describe why you were not satisfied. Suggest what the restaurant should do to improve.

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to express my dissatisfaction
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
 our visit
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 your restaurant yesterday. I planned a family dinner with a few of our relatives and decided to eat at your restaurant. We arrived at the place at near about 9 pm and ordered our
food
Use synonyms
 as quickly as possible.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the server was very rude and didn't answer our questions regarding
Use synonyms
food
Correct article usage
the food
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
food
Use synonyms
 was cold,
it
Correct word choice
and it
show examples
 didn't look fresh as the
organization
Use the right word
organisation
show examples
 was quite bad. I understand that it happens sometimes
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 the worst thing happened after that when
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 called the server back and told him about
bad
Correct article usage
the bad
show examples
 quality of
food
Use synonyms
. The guy started shouting at me
instead
Linking Words
 of listening to me. People sitting there were
also
Linking Words
 looking at us and
amazed
Verb problem
were amazed
show examples
about
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the actions of the worker. It was really disrespectful to me as
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 am your regular customer. I didn't expect
this
Linking Words
 kind of treatment from your staff. I hope you will resolve
this
Linking Words
 issue and develop some customer service skills among
staff
Correct article usage
the staff
show examples
. Despite
, more
Correct pronoun usage
this, more
show examples
organizational
Use the right word
organisational
show examples
 skills are
also
Linking Words
 required for the productivity of the restaurant. Regards, Sim.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Try to organize your letter with clear paragraphs for each main idea. This will help the reader follow your thoughts better.
task achievement
Make sure to use a more polite tone when discussing your experience, as this can help convey your message more effectively.
task achievement
Consider adding more specific details about the food and the service to strengthen your case.
task achievement
You clearly expressed your dissatisfaction with the service.
coherence and cohesion
You used a polite greeting and closing, which is good for letters.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: