IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays, many families move overseas for job opportunities and take their children along with them. Some people think that this is beneficial for the children of these families, while others think children will find it difficult. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, it has become a trend for citizens of underdeveloped countries to migrate to developed nations for a better lifestyle. In
this
Linking Words
 scenario, a group of people consider that migration is beneficial for their
children
Use synonyms
along with
Linking Words
 their parents,
while
Linking Words
 others believe it seems to be difficult for infants. The concerns behind both views are articulated in the upcoming paragraphs , including an opinion.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the prime reason why parents prefer to move with their
children
Use synonyms
 is
due to
Linking Words
 looking for the futuristic requirement and time span to get fullfilment of their dreams. As the developing nations tend to be
slow paced
Use the right word
slow-paced
show examples
 in terms of evolution,
where
Rephrase
apply
show examples
individuals are keen to find suitable opportunities for a bright future overseas.
For instance
Linking Words
, the United States lead the world for standard of living and provision of facilities to its citizens. In contrast to the above concern, it is
undeniable
Correct article usage
an undeniable
show examples
 fact that
initially
Linking Words
children
Use synonyms
 find difficulty in accepting the new environment. In which they leave their beloved ones , including their cousins.
Additionally
Linking Words
, they have to adapt new education system language , which tends to be more
time consuming
Use the right word
time-consuming
show examples
 to
being
Verb problem
get
show examples
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
routine
Correct article usage
a routine
show examples
. To exemplify, as Chinese citizen are facing issues when they migrate with their infants. As their
children
Use synonyms
 have to enrol on native language classes.
To conclude
Linking Words
, in my opinion, as per parents' perceptions, the benefits are more in the long term rather than looking into the short-term problems that can be eradicated by seeking solutions.

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coherence
Make sure each paragraph clearly supports one main idea. Start with a topic sentence that summarizes the paragraph's focus.
task achievement
Provide clearer examples to support your points. This makes your argument stronger and easier to follow.
grammar
Check for spelling and grammar mistakes. Errors can distract from your message.
coherence
Make your conclusion a bit stronger by summarizing the main points. It helps to reinforce your opinion clearly.
coherence
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good for structure.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Multicultural environment, Assimilation, Cognitive flexibility, Linguistic proficiency, Social integration
  • Alienation, Homesickness, Peer support, Academic transition, Bicultural identity
  • Adaptive strategies, Familial guidance, Psychological well-being, Socio-emotional development, Cultural intelligence
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