IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

There was an advert inviting applications for a certain job in the local newspaper. Write to Human Resource Department. In your letter, describe the job you are applying for and your relevant work experience. In your letter • say about the job position you are applying for • describe your experience • describe how your current job and the one you are applying for is a good match

Dear Sir or Madam,  I am writing in response to an advertisement I saw in
Brantford
Correct article usage
the Brantford
show examples
 Daily
Newsapaper
Correct your spelling
News
reagrding
Correct your spelling
regarding
 a job opening in the
Cannabis
Use synonyms
Industry
Use synonyms
 for a position of Quality Assurance Person. I have been looking for an opportunity to join
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ABC Inc.
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a long time as it is one of the reputed
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
cannabis
Correct article usage
the cannabis
show examples
 field.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the perks and benefits the job is offering are
magnificant
Correct your spelling
magnificent
, so I am looking forward to
apply
Wrong verb form
applying
show examples
 for
this
Linking Words
 particular job position. I would like to give some insight regarding my educational and professional experience. I have done a diploma in quality assurance and manufacturing from Conestoga College, Brantford, and have been working in the
cannabis
Use synonyms
industry
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 two years.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, I have
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
experience
of
Change preposition
as
show examples
Production
Correct article usage
a Production
show examples
/Quality
Techinican
Correct your spelling
Technician
 for two years and have been a part of
Health
Correct article usage
a Health
show examples
 Canada audit and mock recall. Would you kindly give me an opportunity to show my expertise and work for the betterment of the company
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
Additionally
Linking Words
, my experience in
Use synonyms
cannabis
Correct article usage
the cannabis
show examples
industry
Use synonyms
 would be an asset
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 I even have a security
clearnce
Correct your spelling
clearance
 from Health Canada, which is essential to work in
this
Linking Words
industry
Use synonyms
. I look forward to hearing from you at
the
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
 earliest. Please feel free to contact me
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 if you have any questions. Thank you for your time and consideration. Yours faithfully, Simran Kaur

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Ensure that the greeting is more precise, such as 'Dear Human Resource Manager'.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the flow by connecting your experience more clearly to the job applied for.
task achievement
Make sure to check spelling mistakes like 'reagrding' and 'magnificant'.
task achievement
Explain in more detail how your current job skills will help in the new job.
task achievement
You clearly state the job position you are applying for at the start of your letter.
coherence and cohesion
Your closing encourages a response and is polite.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • application
  • advertisement
  • Human Resource Department
  • work experience
  • job position
  • relevant skills
  • professional background
  • responsibilities
  • transferable skills
  • industry knowledge
  • interview
  • candidate
  • consideration
  • enthusiasm
  • achievements
  • career development
  • professional growth
  • alignment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: