IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The most essential component of a person's life is his or her time at the workplace, and life turns meaningless once no job satisfaction is obtained. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 true fact that
people
Use synonyms
devoted
Wrong verb form
devote
show examples
 their precious
time
Use synonyms
 to a
job
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it is very important that they get full
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
. I agree with the above statement. For being human
everyone
Punctuation problem
, everyone
show examples
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
show examples
 both physical and mental health . If he or she cannot get
satisfaction
Use synonyms
,
may be
Use the right word
maybe
show examples
 they become mentally unfit. Most of the jobs give
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good money but not peace .
That is
Linking Words
 why
now
Rephrase
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 are facing more and more anxiety and depression
due to
Linking Words
 their career life . Some
people
Use synonyms
 only do
Use synonyms
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
 just to get mental peace and some sort of
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 and happiness. If that
job
Use synonyms
 is not providing these
things
Punctuation problem
things,
show examples
then
Linking Words
 there is no meaning of work for those
people
Use synonyms
. Balance is really important between target achievement and mental health. Sometimes companies
gives
Correct subject-verb agreement
give
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 a lot of pressure to their employees, just to complete some assignments and projects on
time
Use synonyms
 .
This
Linking Words
 affects their health and personal life in a negative way .
Job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 means an employee is really feeling joy at work and day by day being motivated about that particular
job
Use synonyms
 , so
is it
Correct word order
it is
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 crucial to motivate
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the employees and give proper incentives to them . Happy employees
leads
Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
show examples
 a good profit and productivity
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the company.
Time
Use synonyms
 is the most precious thing in the world
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 give their maximum
time
Use synonyms
 to their
job
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
Linking Words
that
Fix capitalization
That
show examples
 is why it is necessary that
people
Use synonyms
 get
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 outputs of their efforts and
Use synonyms
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they
invested
Wrong verb form
invest
show examples
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a company. In conclusion, I would say it is imperative to satisfy an employee by the employer to provide him or her a good work environment and proper monetary and
non - monetary
Use the right word
non-monetary
show examples
 incentives

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task achievement
Make sure to expand on your main ideas and provide more examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your ideas flow smoothly from one to another by using linking words and phrases.
coherence and cohesion
Try to give a clearer and stronger introduction and conclusion to improve your overall structure.
task achievement
You have addressed the importance of job satisfaction, which is central to the topic.
task achievement
The effort to explain mental health issues related to work is commendable.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • essential
  • component
  • job
  • satisfaction
  • meaningless
  • extent
  • agree
  • disagree
  • happiness
  • purpose
  • contributes
  • society
  • motivated
  • impact
  • mental
  • emotional
  • health
  • connections
  • relationships
  • opportunities
  • hobbies
  • personal
  • life
  • measure
  • meaningful
What to do next:
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