IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the value of one country's exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of experts in 2016 compared with 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the value of one country's exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of experts in 2016 compared with 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart illustrates the income of one nation`s export
goods
Use synonyms
 from different
catagories
Correct your spelling
categories
 in 2015 and 2016,
while
Linking Words
 the table gives
proportion
Correct article usage
the proportion
show examples
 of change in each category of
goods
Use synonyms
 exports in 2016 from 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
petrolium
Correct your spelling
petroleum
, textiles, agricultural and engineered
goods
Use synonyms
 exports
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
increased in 2016,
while
Linking Words
 the
gems
Use synonyms
 and
jewellery`s
Check wording
jewellery
show examples
 exports
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
decreased in 2016 than 2015. The
value
Use synonyms
 was fall for only
gems
Use synonyms
 and jewellery was decreased and other products
value
Use synonyms
 was climbed in 2016. In the bar chart, the trade of
petrolium
Correct your spelling
petroleum
 and engineered
goods
Use synonyms
 was around $6 billion,
while
Linking Words
 other
goods
Use synonyms
 have
lower
Correct article usage
a lower
show examples
value
Use synonyms
 than $6 billion, where the textile has lowest export
value
Use synonyms
 in
2015
Punctuation problem
2015,
show examples
 with below $40 billion. Only
gems
Use synonyms
 and jewellery
value
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
decreased in 2016 compared to 2015,
while
Linking Words
 all other
goods
Use synonyms
 trade
value
Use synonyms
was rised
Verb problem
rose
show examples
 in
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
 year.
Linking Words
finally
Fix capitalization
Finally
show examples
, the table shows the
value
Use synonyms
 in proportion, where the
value
Use synonyms
 of textiles
climed
Correct your spelling
climbed
 with 15.24% followed by
petrolium
Correct your spelling
petroleum
 products with
8.5
Correct article usage
an 8.5
show examples
% increase. Other
goods
Use synonyms
value
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 increased
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 0.81% in agricultural and engineered
goods
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 3%. The only
decreased
Replace the word
decrease
show examples
 in percentage is
gems
Use synonyms
 and
jewellary
Correct your spelling
jewellery
 with 5.18%. In comparison, the good export directly affects the
value
Use synonyms
 of the
goods
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words goods, gems, value with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: