IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart illustrates the percentage of people in five different age groups in the UK who donated money to charity in the years 1990 and 2010. The age groups represented are: 18–25, 26–35, 36–50, 51–65, and 65 and over. For each age group, there are two bars indicating the percentage of people who donated in 1990 and 2010 respectively. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart illustrates the percentage of people in five different age groups in the UK who donated money to charity in the years 1990 and 2010. The age groups represented are: 18–25, 26–35, 36–50, 51–65, and 65 and over. For each age group, there are two bars indicating the percentage of people who donated in 1990 and 2010 respectively. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart illustrates
a
Correct article usage
apply
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five
age
Use synonyms
 groups of British
people
Use synonyms
 in different ages who donate to the charity in two years.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest number of British
people
Use synonyms
 who gave money was in 1990.
However
Linking Words
, the smallest number of
another
Fix the agreement mistake
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people
Use synonyms
 was in 2010.
According to
Linking Words
 the
age
Use synonyms
 up to
50s
Add a comma
50s,
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 there were
people
Use synonyms
rose
Verb problem
who raised
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 the value of giving money. Approximately
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 42% of
people
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
age
Replace the word
aged
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 36 -50 in 1990 donated more than
other
Correct article usage
the other
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 group of ages but
this
Linking Words
 value decreased to 35% in 2010. Even though
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 about 17% of donations dropped to 7% of
people
Use synonyms
 in the age18 -25 across the two years 1990 and 2010.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, across the two
years
Punctuation problem
years,
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 the decrease in
number
Correct article usage
the number
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 who donated turned to an increase up to the
age
Use synonyms
50s
Change preposition
of 50s
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, it was 35% for
Use synonyms
age
Correct article usage
the age
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51
Check wording
group 51
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 - 65 in 1990 became 40% in 2010,
also
Linking Words
 it was 32%
over
Change preposition
for
show examples
Use synonyms
age
Correct article usage
the age
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65s
Check wording
group over 65
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 in 1990 rose to 35%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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