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Writing Samples
Band 4

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The pie chart reflects the proportion of
using
Verb problem
apply
show examples
water
Use synonyms
for
Verb problem
used for
show examples
 three kinds of reasons in six areas of the world. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
water
Use synonyms
used
Verb problem
is used
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 the most in agriculture,and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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domestic
use
Use synonyms
was
Wrong verb form
is
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 the least,except
Europe
Change preposition
in Europe
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 and North
America
Use synonyms
. In
central
Fix capitalization
Central
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Asia
Use synonyms
,the
water
Use synonyms
 is used the most in agriculture,with 88%.Following the agricultural
use
Use synonyms
 in Africa and South East
Asia
Use synonyms
,both
above
Verb problem
are above
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 80%.There
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 71% agricultural
use
Use synonyms
 in South
America
Use synonyms
.The
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 in domestic in South East
Asia
Use synonyms
 was the same as Central
Asia
Use synonyms
,and the industrial
use
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 in Africa (7%).And the figure of
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 in
industrial
Replace the word
industry
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 was different,with 5% and 12% for Central
Asia
Use synonyms
 and South East
Asia
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the
water
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 domestic
use
Use synonyms
 in South
America
Use synonyms
 was the second most(19%),and the industrial
use
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 was about 10%. The agricultural
water
Use synonyms
 used in Europe and North
America
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 both under 40%,but the
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 in
industrial
Replace the word
industry
show examples
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 the
most
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
,with 53% and 48% respectively.And the
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 in domestic
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 about 15% in these two areas.

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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, use, america, asia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • water consumption
  • agricultural, industrial, domestic
  • usage patterns
  • developed vs developing regions
  • irrigation systems
  • climate factors
  • percentage breakdown
  • water management
  • sustainability
  • residential water use
  • efficiency
  • charts comparison
  • water-intensive
  • water scarcity
  • resource allocation
  • desalination
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