IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You applied to a job, were offered the position, but have decided not to accept the offer. Write a letter to the HR supervisor with whom you interviewed. In your letter: Explain the reason why you are declining the offer Describe your reasons for staying with your current position Express your gratitude You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Ms. Barry,

Dear Ms. Berry. I am really grateful that you
given
Verb problem
have given
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 me a chance to be a part of your company. Unfortunately, I would not be able to accept the offer.
However
Linking Words
, I appreciate the compensation and
a
Correct article usage
the
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 company car you are offering, but
due to
Linking Words
 my promotion at
current
Correct pronoun usage
my current
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job
Use synonyms
, I regret to inform you that I would have to decline the proposal.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, I always dreamt of becoming a Quality Assurance Manager. I gave my best academically and professionally to achieve
this
Linking Words
 position. As I mentioned in the interview, I really like the working environment of my present
job
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 the only reason I was leaving that
job
Use synonyms
 was because there was no possibility of getting promoted. Luckily, the current manager got a
job
Use synonyms
 in Health Canada, and he is leaving the organisation. My company offered me the manager position
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 I readily accepted
the position
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it
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. Your facility is just awesome. I even really liked the ambience of the place, and everyone was friendly when I came to visit the plant. I sincerely
apologize
Use the right word
apologise
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 that I wasted your precious time. I hope that you get
even
Correct article usage
an even
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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better candidate than me. Thank
your
Correct pronoun usage
you
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 for your time and consideration. Yours faithfully, Simranpreet Kaur

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task achievement
Add a clear introduction to the letter stating your decision right away.
coherence and cohesion
Try to keep each paragraph focused on one main idea for better clarity.
task achievement
Be more careful with grammar and spelling, like 'thank' instead of 'thank you' in the last line.
positive
The tone of gratitude is well expressed throughout the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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