IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Percentage of electricity production by fuel source in France in 1990 and 2010

The pie chart below shows the percentage of electricity which was produced by sources of fuel
in
Linking Words
particular
Correct article usage
a particular
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 country in the years 1990 and 2010. In general, the most significant changes shown on the chart are
increasing
Wrong verb form
an increase
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of
Change preposition
in
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 nuclear power’s proportion and
decreasing
Wrong verb form
a decrease
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of
Change preposition
in
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 the amount of natural gas over the
two-decades
Use the right word
two decades
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. In 1990,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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natural gas was used more widely in France
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, its use experienced a sevenfold decrease
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 between 1990 and 2010, dropping from about 28% to 4%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the amount of electricity which was produced by nuclear power
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 in the initial year
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 increased sharply over the whole period, rising by 50 percentage points to reach approximately 67%. As for the remaining sources, coal
-
Punctuation problem
,
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 which was the most
utilizing
Verb problem
utilised
show examples
 source in 1990
-
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 and oil both declined to similar levels, between two decades, falling from about 28% and 22% to 13%, respectively. Meanwhile, the use of hydropower remained the lowest over the given period, declining by 4% to constitute just 2%.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly present each part of the information. For example, list all the fuel sources and their changes together for clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Add a brief conclusion summarizing the main trends you discussed in the essay.
task achievement
Try to use simpler sentences to express your ideas more clearly. Avoid complex structures that might confuse readers.
task achievement
You presented clear trends for nuclear power and natural gas, which shows a good understanding of the data.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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